I’ll tell ya what, a night out on the town with the Butterscotch Martini Girls might not turn out to be exactly what you expected it to be, but it’s NEVER dull! We set out on a mission last night…a mission to celebrate life. Brit’s precious daughter has been fighting cancer for what now seems like forever. This brave young woman has struggled through endless hours of tests and chemo treatments and illness, amidst all of the chaos that can happen to a family with small children and lives to live. So when her latest round of tests showed her to be cancer-free, we decided this was an event that had to be celebrated.
So what did we decide to do to celebrate this momentous occasion? Why, go watch an all male review, that’s what. I mean, is there a better way to celebrate life? Not when you’re a Butterscotch Martini Girl. So we met last night at our usual critique spot – The Bamboo Grill – for a couple of martinis and margaritas to kick off the night. However, as is often the case with this group, things began to go off plan right from the get-go.
When Brit called to find out what time the doors opened for this all-male review, she found the phone number had been disconnected. Oops… So she tried Information, got another number, and tried again. This time, it was some massage parlor. Apparently the all-male review has closed its doors…wonder if the boys went into a new line of work?
Okay, time for plan B…ogling cowboy butts in Cave Creek, Arizona. I know it doesn’t sound like the same thing to some of you, but I gotta tell ya, we got some mighty fine cowboy butts in this town. So off we went to the Buffalo Chip Saloon with visions of Wranglers dancing in our heads…and some mighty fine Wranglers we found. Amidst a sea of black and white cowboy hats, the Butterscotch Martini Girls managed to turn a failed all-male review into a spectacular viewing event.
Now, in all honesty, I must admit that with Isabella being the designated driver this time, this is where the evening gets a bit fuzzy in spots…at least, for me. One of the highlights I do remember was when Tina decided that she and I should down some sweet concoction in a shot glass that was topped with whipped cream…which shall remain nameless, except for the initials BJ…you fill in the details. The unfortunate part of this event was that even with serious coaching on technique from my fellow Butterscotch Martini Girls and chants of “Come on, Kayce, you can do it!” I never did manage to get my mouth all the way around the top of that huge shot glass. So, in shame, I picked up the glass and tossed it back in traditional fashion with just my fingers. Okay, so we can’t all be rock stars…get over it.
Another thing I must mention…in case you haven’t figured it out already…is that the Butterscotch Martini Girls love men. And they hate to see a friend without one. So the evening would not be complete without everyone using every resource at their command to attempt to find just the perfect men for Isabella and Kayce. Since one of Isabella’s finest qualities are “the girls”, she was frequently encouraged (harassed might be another word that would fit here) to “take the girls for a walk around the bar”. She resisted valiantly but when you’re having that much fun, you have to pee eventually. So the girls did get to take a quick spin through the bar and, as predicted, drew a round of appreciative stares. But Isabella managed to make it back to her barstool safely, which then put me in the hot seat. But I’m tough…I could take it. I managed to fend off all of Brit’s efforts to fix me up with the nice looking man at the end of the bar or with the cowboy in the green shirt and things were going good until Isabella tried to fix me up with Brit’s husband. Did I mention alcohol was involved?
Other highlights that I remember from the Buffalo Chip Saloon included some pondering over why none of those cowboy butts were coming over to talk to us. Duh…would you? You have seven rowdy women who are picking up shot glasses in their teeth, ogling cowboy butts, and cheering loudly amidst calls to the bartender for more libations. Truth be known, we were probably lucky just to be allowed to stay.
Well, any night out on the town with the Butterscotch Martini Girls just wouldn’t be complete without a midnight trip to the local 24-hour toy store…if you get my meaning. I made the unfortunate mistake of admitting that I’d never been there before…bad move. It was like throwing fresh meat to a pack of wolves. So there I was being pushed, pulled, tugged and drug through the toy store at midnight amidst much laughter, speculation and poking of products. I’ll tell you, I’ve never before seen such a display of plastics, wiring, straps, clothing, and unidentifiable gadgets in such horrendous sizes and colors. It was frightening to the newbie. So I left empty handed, having decided that it wouldn’t be all that bad just to wait for the real thing to come along.
So from there, we all went our separate ways…some to take their new purchases home to the poor unsuspecting hubby, and some to a friend’s house to crash on the couch until morning. Come on, don’t dis’ the couch…it was very comfortable. But I must admit that I had to laugh as I quietly slipped off the couch and tiptoed out the front door at four o’clock in the morning while Isabella lay dead to the world somewhere in the back of the house. With my purse over my shoulder, there I was once again heading home in the quiet dawn with my bra in my hand. Been a long time since that mis-spent youth and I couldn’t help but laugh…Butterscotch Martini Girls, you rock!
This is my story and I’m stickin’ to it…hold on tight now, cuz we’re gonna go real, real fast. Love ya!