This is a question I hear repeatedly from men. They don’t understand what we want. They think we are difficult to understand or are a puzzle that will never be solved.
This always amazes me because in this information age, there are so many ways they could find out if they truly wanted to. Not only are there blogs, romance novels aplenty, but also “How To” books, blogs, journals and real live women who they could ask. So, the last time a man mentioned this confusion to me, I pointed out all these avenues and he scowled at me.
Apparently, he said he has actually looked into nearly all these and the women he dates don’t seem to agree. I, of course, pressed for more information, and he said that even though women dream of men who are sensitive, loyal, talk to them and treat them as equals, they continue to go for the bad boys—and the ones who break their hearts.
Well, I’ll admit that I’ve dated a few bad boys in my time, but after having my heart broken too many times to count, I learned that what I wanted was actually much closer to the heroes I write than the devilish villains we love to hate. I did ask if he was going for the younger women, who perhaps hadn’t lived through many of life’s hard knocks yet, but nope. Apparently, these are all “older” women. (I was truly depressed when he added, “like yourself” to that.)
Okay, so this guy needs to work on his communication skills a bit, not to mention his perception of what an “older” woman is. By older women, he means 35-49ish – and he’s 38. I think that’s part of the problem right there – especially since he’s my exact age and knows this and considers me “older” – not to mention that he considers women younger than him OLDER!! Anyway, he said these “older” women are worse than the younger ones about going for the bad boys. And he said the younger ones only want sex—talk about an interesting table turn there! And he ends up feeling cheap and used and just can’t find a woman to settle down with.
So, he’s decided to jump into the online dating fray. Good thing you’re safe from this one Kayce – he’s under the mistaken impression that women over 49 don’t have sex any more. Where the heck do these men get these strange ideas?!?
Anyway, I always thought men were pretty understandable—even though they had their frustrating moments, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe THEY are a puzzle we will never figure out.
All this makes me truly thankful that I have a wonderful husband and between he and I, we put up with each other’s differences and make things work well between us. And even though I’m nine years older than him, he knows better than to refer to me as an “older” woman, even if he might secretly think so.
…And if one of these days, he decides to have a mid-life crisis and trade me in for a younger model, I guess I’ll have to hope that Matthew Macfadyen will show up at one of my booksignings and ask me out…LOL!
And on that note, I’m off to write! Hope everyone has a great weekend! And here’s a Matthew Macfadyen picture just to set the mood… 🙂