That’s the ever-elusive question that no one has ever been able to answer definitively…would you rather have a good backhoe or diamonds? What? You’re rolling your eyes? Really? You say, “DUH!” Really? Oh yeah, I get cha…there’s no contest, right? The backhoe trumps diamonds every time. What? You’re shaking your head now and waving frantically. Oh…I get it…you don’t have anywhere to park your backhoe. What? Oh yeah, I forgot about your homeowners association. Yeah, maybe you should settle for diamonds…since you aren’t really equipped for big girls’ toys.
What? No, Kayce has not lost her mind. And yes, she means every stinking word of it. Okay, before you call out the guys in the little white jackets, let me just clarify for you what has brought me to this conclusion. Now, remember, I’m a country girl…conceived and raised on a farm. So my value system might be a little different from yours. No, I’m not crazy…I’m practical. So…here’s the deal…I live on a farm and have horses and with that comes things like moving hay, moving manure, filling in holes the horses dug (yes, horses dig…at least, mine do!), hauling fence parts from one side of the farm to the other, digging post holes, and yes, even burying precious family pets once they have moved on to the afterlife.
Suffice it to say there’s a lot of digging that goes on around a farm and I pretty much thought I was the only girl in the world with this problem. The issue of digging holes, moving manure, planting pastures mostly belongs to the world of Men and isn’t generally a Girlie activity. However, there are those women who, like me, got tired of waiting for Mr. Right to come along and rescue them. So they went out and got their own piece of property with their own animals and built the life they’ve always dreamed of having on their own. So now we’ve got holes to dig…sometimes very BIG holes.
So what to do? Can’t dig a hole with a diamond ring. Oh, maybe if you’re McGuyver you can figure out how to do it, but I never saw a plow attachment or a post hole digger attachment for a diamond. And I have discovered I’m not the only woman in the world with this problem! I recently reconnected with a girlfriend from high school and we discovered that we both have traveled very different but similar paths in life. So I am spending a few days with her at her place up north…a wonderful, gorgeous place that she is working hard to turn into a B&B one day in the near future. And lo and behold, the girl has a backhoe. A real, live backhoe!
At first, I was jealous. Why don’t I have a backhoe? I could use one to dig all those holes and move all that crap. So why don’t I have one? Well, because I never freaking thought of getting one, that’s why. Like I said, the backhoe has always been a tool (some say toy) that was relegated to the world of Men. But then along comes this girl with some fresh, out-of-the-box thinking and voile, my mind has been expanded, blown, transformed…and I now have a new goal—a backhoe! Or, more accurately, maybe a tractor.
So what does a woman building a B&B do with a backhoe? Well, lots! She tears down trees, digs up roots, drags the reeds out of the pond, builds rock retaining walls, and carts materials. Bottom line…she can do any damn thing she pleases with a backhoe…or if she’s more inclined to sit on the dock and drink a margarita that particular gorgeous, sunny afternoon, she can hire a man to drive her backhoe and move stuff or dig holes. And did you know men are willing to work cheaper if they think they get to play with cool toys like backhoes? Uh-huh!
You convinced yet? Ready to buy a backhoe? Yep, I knew you would be…it was the part about hiring the man to drive it, wasn’t it? LOL So…now to find a way to pay for that backhoe or tractor…guess I need to sell a lot more books, huh? ‘Cuz we all know backhoes and tractors ain’t cheap. Oh wait…I think I just found a great use for diamonds…you can sell ‘em to get the money to buy a backhoe.
Okay, I’m off now to see if I can find some diamonds laying around the house that I can hock to get my tractor. And if you’re interested in knowing where my friend’s B&B is going to be located, stay tuned here to the BMG blog because I will one day be posting an announcement of a grand opening and you wouldn’t want to miss it…she might even let you sit on her backhoe!
That’s my story, steely and sparkly, and I’m stickin’ to it. Hang on tight now ‘cuz we’re gonna go real, real fast!