Here are the Twitter highlights and the corresponding video from the Butterscotch Martini Girls’ chat last night about “What Not to do on a Date”.
Don’t drink anything while listening or reading unless you’ve covered your computer screen with plastic.
He just wanted to see if she knew how to dress for dinner @KayceLassiter@ScribBLINGDIVA@TinaGerowhttps://t.co/mFSr6MfboN#blab
— Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
When a man feels he has to test you because you may not be classy enough to take out into public – You might want to take a pass on that second date.
Is a cafeteria a “night out” kind of place? @CheyenneMcCray @KayceLassiter @ScribBLINGDIVA @TinaGerow https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab — Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
If Billy Bob’s Belly Buster Cafe isn’t your idea of a wild time, take that “emergency text” from nobody just before you hit the cash register with your big spender.
Ammo under his floorboards doesn’t make a hot date @CheyenneMcCray @KayceLassiter @ScribBLINGDIVA @TinaGerow https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab
— Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
At what point should a man disclose to you that he stores ammunition under his floorboards “in case of emergency”? And what would constitute a pulling up the floorboards sort of emergency? This man is probably not dating material unless the zombie apocalypse has already occurred.
Would you date AK-47 guy? @CheyenneMcCray @KayceLassiter @ScribBLINGDIVA @TinaGerow https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab
— Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
I’ve always felt disclosing ownership of a Russian-made automatic assault rifle was a 3rd date sort of thing.
Is hiking a date? Thorns, mud & restaurants? NO! @CheyenneMcCray @KayceLassiter @ScribBLINGDIVA @TinaGerow https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab — Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
A girl can be outdoorsy and posh but usually not on the same date without a change of clothes. Let’s not be ridiculous with our demands here, fellas.
Blab tip #3: turn the camera when spitting out gum @CheyenneMcCray@KayceLassiter@ScribBLINGDIVA@TinaGerowhttps://t.co/mFSr6MfboN#blab
— Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
We like to think we’re all ladies here.
Ever leave the tags on a dress for a date? @CheyenneMcCray @KayceLassiter @ScribBLINGDIVA @TinaGerow https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab — Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
Leaving the tags on usually means we don’t plan on keeping the dress or you. Take a powder, stud.
If he brings his mom, BAIL! Says @virg_Nelson @CheyenneMcCray @KayceLassiter @ScribBLINGDIVA @TinaGerow https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab
— Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
A mom in the back seat is just one step away from the Bates Motel. Say “Hellz NO!”
Never date a guy wearing an orange jumpsuit @CheyenneMcCray @KayceLassiter @ScribBLINGDIVA @TinaGerow https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab — Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
Orange may be the new black, but don’t let him try to pass off an orange jumpsuit as his mechanic uniform at Jiffy Lube.
She was doing fine until the vodka started flying @CheyenneMcCray @KayceLassiter @ScribBLINGDIVA @TinaGerow https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab
— Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
Kayce Lassiter has had some wild rides. That was one of them.
He brings a list of women who like his sex @CheyenneMcCray @KayceLassiter @ScribBLINGDIVA @TinaGerow https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab — Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
He may be hot in the sack, but if all those women didn’t keep him, you’re either very lucky or he’s just not a keeper.
If you’ve seen his privates by phone – don’t date @CheyenneMcCray @KayceLassiter @ScribBLINGDIVA @TinaGerow https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab
— Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
It’s just not cool to send a woman you want to date selfies of your nethers.
That awkward moment when he doesn’t kiss you goodnight @KayceLassiter @ScribBLINGDIVA @TinaGerow https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab
— Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
So you grab him by the collar and plant one on him anyway.
If gov’t agents are stalking him – don’t date – RUN! @CheyenneMcCray @KayceLassiter @ScribBLINGDIVA @TinaGerow https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab — Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
The guy who sees spies in the bushes may not be the man you want to settle down with.
“Pull my Finger” is not a good date opener @CheyenneMcCray @KayceLassiter @ScribBLINGDIVA @TinaGerow https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab
— Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
Some married couples go decades without ever saying this to each other. Keep your fingers out of the pull zone. Farting is not for show.
He walked away on the goodnight kiss @CheyenneMcCray @KayceLassiter @ScribBLINGDIVA @TinaGerow https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab — Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
Usually a good sign he’s not going to call.
“I think it’s a good idea if they have a job” says Cheyenne McCray https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab
— Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
You’ll have to weigh the benefits, but a job is handy.
Men can’t measure for shit. Height, girth…@CheyenneMcCray @KayceLassiter @ScribBLINGDIVA @TinaGerow https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab — Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
Measure twice, cut once.
There’s no way that sandwich is 8 inches! @CheyenneMcCray @KayceLassiter @ScribBLINGDIVA @TinaGerow https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab
— Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
That’s what she said!
It really was about 6″ but he tried to stretch it @CheyenneMcCray @KayceLassiter @ScribBLINGDIVA @TinaGerow https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab — Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
They always do. They always do.
If it’s too impressive, RUB…er…RUN @CheyenneMcCray @KayceLassiter @ScribBLINGDIVA @TinaGerow https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab
— Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
Some men are handicapped with porn star appendages. It can be dangerous.
If you have to bring your own condoms – don’t go! @CheyenneMcCray @KayceLassiter @ScribBLINGDIVA @TinaGerow https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab — Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
If he calls before your first date and tells you to pick up condoms, it’s not a date.
If you say you require Magnums, you’d better deliver @KayceLassiter @ScribBLINGDIVA @TinaGerow https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab
— Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
Seriously. Do you want to be the guy who keeps sliding out of the condom because you’re too small for it? Or maybe you’re a big fan of balloon animals?
Be a friend – make the sex toys disappear before next of kin arrive @KayceLassiter @ScribBLINGDIVA @TinaGerow https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab — Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
Men have porn buddies who remove the porn from their homes when they die. Women have similar agreements for their sex toys.
First date is at church…easy exit after vespers @CheyenneMcCray @KayceLassiter @ScribBLINGDIVA @TinaGerow https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab
— Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
Just say “God Bless” and be on your way.
Dating don’t: Walgreens Parking Lot @CheyenneMcCray @KayceLassiter @HDThomson @ScribBLINGDIVA https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab — Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
Because you need to refill your antibiotic prescription for the clap?
Dating tip: Google location & Estimate cab fare @CheyenneMcCray @KayceLassiter @HDThomson @ScribBLINGDIVA https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab
— Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
If he wants to meet you at a bar out in the desert, keep in mind there’s lots of sand to bury you in on his way home. Bring cab fare.
When he tells you how mean he’s been to exes-no date @CheyenneMcCray @KayceLassiter @HDThomson @ScribBLINGDIVA https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab — Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
The guy who brags about being vindictive to those who have spurned him usually gets spurned a lot – and for good reason.
When he belches into the phone – don’t take the date @CheyenneMcCray @KayceLassiter @HDThomson @ScribBLINGDIVA https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab
— Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
This is a good time to block his number.
Boob grazes on 1st date – not cool @CheyenneMcCray @KayceLassiter @HDThomson @ScribBLINGDIVA https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab — Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
We all agreed this move was in poor taste.
Beard, bib overalls, raccoon – @KayceLassiter wants YOU! https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab
— Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015
You have to appreciate a woman who knows what she wants.
Next week – things introverts won’t tell you w/ @CheyenneMcCray @KayceLassiter @HDThomson https://t.co/mFSr6MfboN #blab — Lisa Pietsch (@LisaPietsch) October 7, 2015