Category Archives: Fun Writing Stuff

HELP! This is a BMG SOS!

Hey ya’all, it’s Kayce Lassiter here and I need your help.  My new release, Murder by Dummies, is in an absolute fight for first place in the Gorgeous Gals category of the Affaire de Coeur cover art contest.  My competition is FIERCE and determined, and we are pacing each other almost vote for vote…for days now!

So I need your HELP…Please CLICK HERE TO VOTE!!!

VOTE today, VOTE tomorrow, VOTE every day through midnight (Pacific time) on 7/15!  You can vote once each day from each and every device you own.  So break out those phones, laptops, desktops, tablets, smart TVs, and anything else that can get to the internet, and let’s take Murder by Dummies across the finish line in first place–TOGETHER!

Also, if you aren’t on my newsletter list, please CLICK HERE to sign up and you will receive a free ebook from my Delta Jane Series about a fairy godmother who rides a Harley and sports a “Bite Me, Cowboy” tattoo on her shoulder as she makes love matches in ranching families.

And…if you’d like to have a copy of Murder by Dummies, CLICK HERE to pre-order your copy now.  If you order now, you will be able to download the book on 7/18, which is almost a month ahead of the general release date.  So order your copy NOW!

Everyone who casts a vote at the contest link above and comes back here and posts that they voted will be entered into a drawing for three $10 Amazon gift cards or 7 free ecopies of Barn Burner.  Contest closes at midnight (Pacific time) on July 15th, so vote…vote…vote.  You can vote every day–once on each device you own.  So post what devices you voted on each time…and each vote on each device earns an entry into the drawing!  Be specific…I voted on an Amazon Fire Stick, my Samsung cell phone, an Apple smart TV, my ASUS laptop, and my Kindle Fire tablet…this would earn you 5 entries into the drawing…do it for the 7 days remaining in the contest and you earn 40 entries into the drawing!!!

THANK YOU…THANK YOU…THANK YOU for the votes I just know you’re going to cast!  Let’s win this together!


Love ya,


Tina Gerow: New Year’s resolutions for smut writers…

Everyone I know has the more normal New Year’s resolutions – you know…lose weight, clean out their closet, exercise 4X a week…

Yeah – not my style. Not that those aren’t admirable resolutions to have, but they just aren’t on my list. And I would probably never keep them beyond January anyway.


So what IS on my list?


  1. Write daily! I already try to do this, but end up on a pretty normal week only writing on 5 days and those aren’t always productive ones.
  2. Read more! TONS of people have this on their lists, but as a writer, it’s pretty important. I often use reading as a  reward for reaching some word count goal in my current Work in Progress, and I can’t read in the genre I’m currently writing. I don’t want to start sounding like the author I’m reading. When I read, I get just as immersed in that world and those characters as when I write.  So often, I’ll read historical romances, comedy romances or even history or biographies.  But whatever I’m reading I NEED to read more in 2016!  I only read 13 books in 2015 (not counting the ones I critiqued for other writers) and that’s pretty pathetic for me.
  3. Do more real time research! I do a lot of my research online, or even chatting online with people to get the information I need. But for my current series, I really need to wrangle the Butterscotch Martini Girls and go to a BDSM dungeon/sex club.  Hubby told me in no uncertain terms when I was offered the contract with Random House Loveswept that he would NOT be the one to go with me…LOL! But I’ll bet at least a few of the girls would be game!
  4. Find a few more people who are active in the BDSM/fetish lifestyle to interview and get story ideas. Pretty self explanatory – more research from those who live that lifestyle will give me great writing material!!
  5. Step up my sex scenes.  Yes, I can see some of you cringing because a lot of my sex scenes are already pretty hot, but I don’t want them to get stagnant or predictable so I need to keep striving to write better/hotter ones that also bring the characters together and bring the characters closer emotionally.
  6. The BMG’s have been talking about getting Martini girl tattoos. I’m thinking about it. I have one existing tatt I need to get touched up, but I wouldn’t mind adding a small BMG one to the two I have. After all, I’m one of the founding members and it’s been a BIG part of my life for over a decade now. It would be a tattoo I would love forever, and I do still have a few places that won’t sag too much over the next 20 years!! No one wants a crinkly or suddenly 3 foot long martini glass….snerk!
  7. I also do have some normal resolutions…like not to beat myself up as much when I have a bad writing week or get behind on word count.
  8. To not compare myself to other authors’ writing output and feel bad about myself.
  9. To be thankful every day that I can STILL write – even if it takes me four times as long as it did pre brain blowout.
  10. The be more kind and compassionate
  11. To always work to be a better mother and wife
  12. To love myself more
  13. To be less judgmental about myself and others
  14. To be thankful for everything each and every day!
  15. To make sure everyone I love and care for knows how I feel!
  16. To find joy in every day!
  17. Do my gratitude exercises every day as soon as I get up!

If you were expecting more X-rated resolutions – just head on out to my Cassie Ryan page and pick up a book or two…and definitely my latest – My Obsession. That’ll give you the X-rated you’ve been looking for! 🙂

But if you’d like to go sensual instead of erotic – head on out to my Tina Gerow page.

What are some of YOUR resolutions that aren’t on everyone else’s list?

Happy New Year!



I’m off to raise a Butterscotch Martini to a new year!!!!
butterscotch martinis

Typos and Boob Blabs: The life of one wacky writer…

BMG Girl_transp_MASTER_flat_forgiftcardsHave you ever had one of those weeks where certain things follow you? Well, I’m having one of those months. Embarrassing typos seem to be stalking me!!

For those of you following any of my social media world lately, you’ve seen a TON of new stuff from the Butterscotch Martini Girls. The BMG‘s is my long time critique group, and we’ve recently changed our focus to become a promo group. We’re still a tight knit group of kick ass women, well, a few of our number still can and do literally kick some ass, the rest of us plot the destruction of the world and take our agressions out in the written word. Sort of like Pinky from Pinky and the Brain, but we have glamorous day jobs as writers…snerk!

Anyway, I digress. We’ve got a great new group logo, as you can see above, and will be unveiling our individual Butterscotch Martini Girls as the weeks roll by, so stay tuned.

As for the things that are following me – typos are stalking me like crazy this month! I’m having to read everything four or five times to make sure I’m not leaving them in my posts and my writing. ACK! And of course, my fast type and auto correct are NOT helping! I’m convinced those are dark plots to drive me more insane than I already am!! A great example is one of the new weekly activities for the BMG’s: The Boob Blab. Okay, it’s official name is the Book Blab, but I swear, no matter what I’ve tried to type this week, 90% of the time it has come out as Boob Blab so I’ve just given up and decided that’s what I’m going to call it. The BMG’s just chuckled and let me go on my insane way with it!
If you’ve never heard of the Boob Blab…er…Book Blab…it’s like a video chat on crack with some twitter feed thrown in for fun. You can go to their site and see and join gazillions of them in progress. Okay, that may be a slight exaggeration, but not by much!

And ours is taped so you can go back and watch the one we did on Wednesday. Our topic of the day was Worst First Dates, and they were a riot. You can check it out here – Blab.  I look sort of stoned during the whole thing, but I promise I was totally sober and not under the influence of anything harder than an iced trenta 8 pump black tea from Starbucks.

REALLY gotta work on the laptop camera angle for this next week…EEP. And might have to wear a different color shirt and actually leave enough time to put on some makeup so I don’t look like I have two black eyes for the entire chat.  Ugh…vanity – they name is Tina!

For a “fun” reference, you can see Rocky’s butt behind me on the couch. Rocky is our 18 pound Maine Coon…fluffy orange and white sweetness who likes to randomly jump into my arms while I’m writing, but decided to hang out and be in our Blab.


So stop by the Blab and have some fun. Don’t forget to scroll down to see some of the tweets that were live tweeted during the event.  total crack up!  We’re trying to do them weekly so stay tuned for more craziness!

Now back to my typos…yes, the boob thing….which someone on Facebook thought was a bad reference to the fact that all the BMG’s are women and most of us are a bit on the well endowed Tata’s side….  Nope, just my typo curse in action.

H.D. Thompson says it’s because of Mercury being in Retrograde. I hate that shit! Bites me on the ass every time it happens!

So more about my typos…

My current Work in Progress under my Cassie Ryan pen name is My Addiction, the 2nd book in my Club Desire series. I don’t have a cover yet so can only post the My Obsession cover that released on July 21st!


For those of you not up on what this series is about, it’s about the premier BDSM club in the Southwestern United States. It’s called Club Desire and is located in Phoenix, Arizona on the top of Camelback mountain. And there are smokin’ hot Doms and the strong subs who keep them on their toes, with some suspense to keep the blood moving – as if the hot sex doesn’t do that already.

Here’s the specific blurb if you’d like to check it out:

Running from a troubled past, Sandra Barry spent years hiding out in New York City’s BDSM scene, finding satisfaction and even a sense of community as a sub at a large dungeon. But when a stalker joins the dungeon posing as a Dom, he crosses her personal boundaries, giving her no choice but to return home to Arizona. Seeking refuge once again in the kink lifestyle, Sandra meets a sexy new Dom whose tutelage drives her wild—although there’s something familiar about him she just can’t place.

As a teenager, Brent Weston was a nerd. Now he owns the hottest dungeon in Phoenix, enjoying the power and success he’s always craved. All that’s missing is the right woman to share it with. Then one day, Sandra, his secret high school crush, walks into his club. She’s just as beautiful as he remembers. She’s also scared as hell. Brent has been waiting for this moment, and now that Sandra’s in his sights, he’ll do anything to protect her, pleasure her—and prove that he’s the only master worthy of her devotion.  You can pick it up here.

But as I’m writing My Addiction, there are obviously certain terms in my “word arsenal” that need to be what they are. My Macbook and iPhone have decided that areola will now be airline, or sometimes, Ariel. Gah! I’ve had to add these to the dictionaries, but when you’re in the “flow” of writing, it’s a PIA to stop and do that stuff. And then there’s the email I sent to someone volunteering to guest blog on the challenges of book pubic. (er…publicity).

This whole Mercury in retrograde thing needs to go away!! STAT! I have enough problems keeping the fingers in sync with the brain without my tech conspiring against me!

Tomorrow is more writing, and I’m sure more typo gaffes, but hey, life is short and sometimes you just have to say, “DGAF!” A term I learned from my son!!

Good thing Random House has amazing copyeditors!!

Happy Friday, everyone! Hopefully I’ll see you at this next week’s Boob Blab!  “Boobed” and proud!!

And if you’d like to keep up on all the craziness of the Butterscotch Martini Girls, here’s where you can sign up for our newsletter!


Loving the Writer’s Life

There’s nothing like a fabulous vacation to get the creative juices flowing. As writers we’re always looking for an exotic location for our next book.  So when my dear friend, and Ellora’s Cave author, Lexi Post, invited Cathy McDavid and myself to visit with her and her husband, we were absolutely thrilled to accept the invitation. They live on the island of St. Croix in the Caribbean. And she asked us to bring our books. The local bookstore invited us to have a book signing while there.  

St. Croix is in the United States Virgin Islands so a passport wasn’t needed. This was perfect because I was worried I wouldn’t have enough time for one to be issued before we planned to leave.:

As soon as our plane landed we got a craving for a tropical island cocktail. The first one I ordered was a Pina Colada. Cathy ordered a Mango Daiquiri. Both were absolutely delicious. However, it wasn’t long before we switched to rum punch. It seemed to be the drink of choice for the island.


We spent the first morning relaxing on the porch enjoying the view. We worked on our current work in progress (cause that’s what writers do) until noon then took a drive to downtown Frederiksted.    

Frederiksted was named after Frederick V of Denmark, who purchased the Danish West Indies in 1754.


A cruise ship had docked and all the local shops had set up tents along the sidewalks. We had to check them out and buy a few souvenirs.

We were invited to brunch by Lexi’s friend, Tanisha.  Tanisha has lived in St Croix all her life and would not consider leaving her island paradise lifestyle. And who can blame her?

How’s this for a view?

Next we stopped by the Domino Club in the rainforest. We had to see the beer drinking pigs.  Do I look a little scared? Yep, kinda was.

The rainforest and this tree is absolutely huge.

We made history on the island of St. Croix. We were the first romance authors to ever hold a book signing on the island. Thank you so much. Undercover Bookstore, for giving us such a warm welcome.

Cathy McDavid, Lexi Post, Tia Dani

The following day we did a tour of the island. We walked where Columbus and his crew landed and came ashore. We drove over to Point Udall. Point Udall, St Croix, V.I. the Easternmost point of the United States of America. Named for Stewart Udall, United States Secretary of the Interior under Presidents John F. Kennedy and L.B. Johnson. Then on for drinks at a nearby resort. Rum punch on the patio.

After a quick stop by the casino it was on to dinner in Christiansted.

There is plenty to do while on the island. if you plan to go check out the cultural events.

For a great Chai stop in the local coffee house, Polly’s. 

We decided we could not leave the island without taking a sunset cruise. The cruise definitely turned out to be one of the high points of the trip. We had so much fun. Our captain and his mate were quite handsome and the run punch flowed.

Great story about these two guys. They met on the island and turned out they were half brothers. Wasn’t long before they started up a business together.

The beautiful sunset

Tia Dani, Cathy and Lexi

All good things must come to an end including vacations. now it’s back to work finishing our book in progress while dreaming about where our next adventure will take us. Hawaii anyone?

BTW the next trip will include both Tia and Dani.  Who knows, maybe we’ll all go and make it a Butterscotch Martini Girls vacation? We can’t wait to find out.

Tia Dani

Time's Enduring Love


The 7 Strangest Things I’ve Done in the Name of Writing Research

Book 2 in the Sisters of Darkness Series

Book 2 in the Sisters of Darkness Series

Most writers do some type of research to make sure their books are realistic. None of us want people to roll their eyes when reading our books! So in the name of accuracy, most authors must do at least some level of research. I’ve heard some pretty strange things that other writers have done in the name of research, but I’m only going to include ones that I was actually a part of. That’s not to say I won’t do even weirder research in the future than those listed below, but I guess that will be blog fodder for another time.

So heeeeeeeere we go…..


1. For a book I’ve written that isn’t published yet (a paranormal romantic suspense) I had to research what type/size of nuclear weapons would fit into several well known landmarks around the world. And that included researching the dimensions of said landmarks. Then I also did research on who would have to attack whom to ignite a virtual world war 3. I’m sure I’m on some interesting watch lists from that one. But in order to have high enough stakes to sustain a three book series and allow my characters to be the good guys and creatively save the day, I had to have a big black moment that was large and scary enough that it COULD’VE resulted in BIG world conflicts if my characters had failed to save the day. I’m glad I have in my network some ex military people who could give me most of that information so I didn’t have to go entirely off the information on the Internet, which as most of us know is most of the time not only flawed but outright crap.

2. For my Sisters of Darkness series written as Cassie Ryan, an erotic paranormal romance about 4 Succubus in Hell’s version of the Witness Relocation Program, I spent a few hours interviewing an actual working prostitute. She works at one of the legal brothels in Nevada, and I bought her several Starbucks mochas in payment for her time, as well as mailed her a copy of each of the books in my series when they came out, as well as my entire Seduction Series. Now you might ask how I met her, but it’s sort of anticlimactic… This was back when I was working at Starbucks and I was working the drive thru window one morning. That entire week I had been looking for a good name for a brothel I was creating for use in The Demon & The Succubus, and she heard me mentioning it to another customer while she was waiting at the window for her drink. After all, what would be a good job for a succubus who has lived for centuries and needed sexual energy to survive in the modern day world? A very high end prostitute at a legal brothel would be perfect, right? We got some very strange looks sitting in the squishy chairs at Starbucks because of some of our discussions – especially since they were pretty graphic and descriptive, and we both ended up laughing until we cried. I still have the notes from that conversation somewhere around here!

3. For my book Vortex Blues I called the Sedona, Arizona police department and asked for some pretty detailed information about the layout of their jail, holding areas etc. I spoke to a very nice lady and she’s in the acknowledgements of that book. I was pretty sure I was going to have the police at my door the morning after that call, but so far nothing…knock on wood…

4. One of my critique partners had written a story that had one of those fake vaginas you find in the sex shops in it. (If she’s amenable she can post the name of the book and a link to it in the comments – it’s a GREAT book!) Anyway, she had written this vagina in there and the details weren’t quite right. So I asked her if she’d ever actually seen and touched one of them. And actually none of the ladies in our critique group HAD except for me. Not sure what that says about me, but there you go! So we all decided it was time to take a trip across the freeway to our local Sex supply Superstore and check this out! So we trekked over and I think I was the only one who had ever been in there before because all of their eyes were the size of dinner plates the entire time! And I’m sure we all made quite a sight poking and prodding all the merchandise and talking about details and giggling like little girls! But damn, it was a fun field trip for the Butterscotch Martini Girls!

5. One of my friends was writing a story that involved the seamier side of the world of strippers – that of those women being pressed into the underground sex trade. So what did we do? Well, while we were at a writer’s conference in New Orleans we visited a strip club in order to interview some of the dancers. One lady was particularly open to talking to us, so each of us in turn paid for and received a lap dance and chatted, finding out everything we could about what she did, any interesting stories and behind the scenes stuff that most people wouldn’t know who weren’t part of that profession. We all tipped her well and once we were done there were several men lined up waiting for their turn at a dance – I guess watching her give lap dances to four women appealed to the male patrons… LOL I’ve used some of the research from that trip in several of my books, even though I don’t have any actual strippers in any of my books. Just proof that everything a writer sees, hears and experiences can become book fodder.

6. While writing Into A Dangerous Mind, my very first book, I called the Arizona FBI office and asked if there was a profiler who would be willing to talk to me for a book I was writing. A few days later a profiler called me back and she was nice enough to talk to me for nearly an hour. We talked about FBI practices that related to scenes in my books, “what if” scenarios, their standard firearms, known issues with them and any fun or interesting stories that she was able to share with me. She was a font of information but asked that I not use her name or even list her in the acknowledgements of my book. But since I wrote that book back in 2003 I think an obscure reference is probably fine. As my first real attempt at writing research, she made me brave enough to move forward with others!

7. For a book that I haven’t written yet I was trying to find the best and worst pickup strategies. So….yes, you guessed it! I tried them out. I was actually on a business trip and a coworker and I were talking about my books and I mentioned that I was trying to do some research on these, so she suggested we start right then! She even offered to pay for the drinks if I took the bull by the horns and tried some out! So we decided on four strategies and dove right in. Or at least I did. Before I use them I think I’ll need to field test them again here in Phoenix to see if they work the same here as they did in Orlando. For some reason I just think the Orlando guys weren’t quite a good overall gauge but who knows until I have more data! The first one was the old standby of asking the waitress to send a drink over to an attractive guy. Now I HAD done this back while I was in college and got a smile, a wink and the guy came over to talk to me. It didn’t work out, but did result in us exchanging phone numbers and going out on one date. Well, in Orlando, it apparently results in a note back with his phone number saying if I’m into choking and scat play to give him a call. If you don’t know what scat play or even “choking” in a sexual connotation is, then you won’t know why I ripped up the napkin, making sure he saw me, and refused to make eye contact with him for the rest of the time we were at the bar.

The second strategy was something my coworker and I threw out there as something we KNEW wouldn’t work, but that she wanted to see me do so she could laugh, so what the hell, she was buying the drinks, so I did it. On my way back from the bathroom I walked by a man who was attractive and probably in his early sixties who was very obviously sitting with his wife. They were even very affectionate with each other including the dreamy smiles, and it was a very sweet scene. Anyway, looking back I can’t believe I did this, but yup – I actually did. As I walked by I made eye contact with him, smiled and dropped my hotel room keycard on the table in front of him before walking back to my table. A few minutes later both he and his wife were at our table asking if I wanted to join THEM at THEIR hotel room for the evening. They even offered to include my coworker if she’d like to come with us. After stuttering for a minute under their very amused smiles I came clean and told them what we were doing and why, and they said that they often approached attractive women or men dining alone to see if they would like to join them for the evening. They’d apparently been doing it for years. I swear I’m going to use something like that in a Cassie Ryan story one day just because it was such a fun and interesting idea. And they looked so innocent! But as a writer I should know better than most that looks are definitely deceiving!

The third man I just made eye contact with and smiled. He nodded back, smiled, sat in a booth and sent us both refills of what we were drinking through the waitress with a message that he was flattered but engaged. Gotta totally respect a hot AND faithful man!

The fourth man I just walked up to his table and asked if he’d like some company. He was very sweet about it and said he usually didn’t date younger women (he was definitely NOT older than me…lol) but that he might make an exception if I could convince him that I wouldn’t be a boring date. In the end after chatting with him for about ten minutes he ended up buying appetizers and more drinks for my coworker and I. He didn’t make any real moves on us but was quite amused when he found out we were using him for research! In fact he told us we were the most interesting “dates” he’d had in quite a while and that he was going to have a great time telling all his friends that two women “used” him for research and letting them draw their own conclusions!! Snerk!

So those are, to date, the strangest things I’ve done in the name of writing research. But now that I’ve written them out I think I need to get with my fellow Butterscotch Martini Girls and get out there and do some more so all of us have some great new book fodder! Anyone else have some fun ones to add? I’d love to see them in the comments!!


Butterscotch Martini Girls’ Last Call!

butterscotch martini girlsWe’re just kidding.  If you know anything about the Butterscotch Martini Girls, you know the martinis are always flowing around here even if they are virtual.

Butterscotch Martini Girls’ Newsletter

Have you signed up for the Butterscotch Martini Girls’ newsletter?

Our first issue will be coming out soon and we have some great material planned for you!

Stay in the know on what Brit Blaise, Judi Thoman, Tina Gerow, Cassie Ryan, Kayce Lassiter, Kayla Janz, H.D. Thompson, Catrina Burgess, and Lisa Pietsch are up to (and we assure you, they’re usually up to no good).

We’ve got excerpts, free reads, new releases, cover reveals, interviews and more! Just click here!

Top 5 Weirdest Things I’ve made a Character do in a Book

Tina thinking up snarky things to do to her characters...

Tina thinking up snarky things to do to her characters…

Especially writing paranormal romance I’ve tortured my characters in some pretty interesting and snarky ways.  So revisiting the Top 5 is kind of fun.  Be warned that this list includes both Tina books (sensual paranormal romance) and Cassie Ryan books (erotic paranormal romance) and both series have a lot of irreverent snark!

So here we go………in countdown David Letterman style!!

6.  In Fantasy Quest,Astiria, designs her perfect man in an online game and then gets sucked into the game.  The game, similar to Everquest II, which my family and I avidly played at the time, was a great backdrop for a fun, romantic romp.  She goes on a quest to achieve full citizenship of that world so she can choose her mate, after an unfortunate even with the Goblin King.  When one of his minions attacked her and tried to take her captive, she clamped down on his tender bits and twisted to get away…thus by the laws of Verrath, she is promised to the Goblin King…ack!  So the quest is important for her to be able to claim the hero she designed and has fallen for.  At the end she gets to choose a bonus for completing her quest and gaining citizenship….and decides to keep the “Stripper boobs” she chose when she built her own character.  If only we could all design our attributes!  I’d be willing to fight a few goblins for the ability to do that!!

5.  In Into a Dangerous Mind, my heroine, Cassidy, suddenly received psychic powers because of an attack by a psychic serial killer and then accidentally projects her elicit dreams out to my hero, her best friend and another FBI agent.  In other words, she ends up giving my hero a phantom blow job and giving the entire house a “happy ending”.  How could I pass up the opportunity for her to use her brand new powers in such a fun manner?

4.  In Take It Off, my heroine, Samantha, had to go and run a real life Nevada brothel—the family business–while her mother is unable to.  Unfortunately, the one night stand she had an amazing connection with shows up for a bachelor party and assumptions are made on both sides.  My poor hero ends up tied hand and foot to a bed upstairs in a “teach him his lesson” type joke.  It was really fun playing with that scenario 🙂

3.  In Vortex Blues, I made my hero, Mitch Guthrie, work a case to find a succubus serial killer who was leaving a train of only dismembered penises…no, I’m not a man hater.  In my world succubus drain power from their victims though sexual contact and after the men can no longer “provide ejaculate” to fuel the succubus’ energy consumption, their body starts to break down and dissolve muscles, tissue etc.  However, to ensure her continued sustenance, the succubus’ body produces a substance that keeps the male organ from dissolving with the rest of him.  Thus, the trail of pristine man parts left over after the “kill”   Snerk…

2.  In Ceremony of Seduction, Princess Alyssandra went through an “altar ceremony” with at least 30 other people.  Talk about a busy sex scene!!  It’s a fan favorite, however, and I’m often asked if I plotted that out with little dolls or stick figures to keep it straight where everyone was at any given time…snicker 🙂  In truth, I did not.  However, my wonderful Kensington copyeditor at the time said she did just to check facts while she was copyediting…tee hee!

1.  In Fire Maiden, Kefira was pinned to the side of a cow by a whole slew of arrows launched at her by the villains.  She turned to stone to heal (she’s a gargoyle) and the poor cow was running with her pinned to his side.

On a funny note, I had one reviewer on Amazon who had a huge issue with the physics of that whole scene.  In fact I think that review is still on Amazon 🙂  She was apparently fine with the idea of a 900 year old gargoyle warrior for God who can turn to stone to heal, but took offense at my grasp of physics and what’s possible and not.  That review is one of my favorites because it always makes me laugh 🙂

Wow, looking at my list, quite a few of these are sexual….and very snarky…I suppose I do have that kind of a sense of humor!

I’m sure there are others I could add to the list and I look forward to seeing all of you remind me of them in the comments section!  If you leave me one you might win a copy of my newest release Sleeping With Shadows!!


Tina as a Superhero…

Hi everyone.  I found a fun site where you can turn yourself into a Superhero.

Check out the one I created on my Tina Gerow blog 🙂


Live from New York!!!

Well, it’s not Saturday night…it’s Friday night, but I just got home from my trip to New York a few hours ago, so I thought I’d pop my blog up here so I don’t miss my blog day (er…again…)  And if you didn’t get that intro, you need to watch a little more Saturday Night Live…lol!

Anyway, my hubby had to fly out to New York on business last Sunday, and since I’m not going to RWA Nationals (the place where I would normally meet up with my agent and editor) this year, I horned in on his business trip to meet with them there instead.  For various reasons I couldn’t leave with the hubby on Sunday, so a big thanks to Isabella Clayton for getting up at the butt-crack of dawn on Tuesday morning and driving me to the airport.

Now let me back up just a bit to tell you that I haven’t been to New York since I was sixteen-years-old, and that was to meet up with a band tour for the American Musical Ambassadors.  (Yes, I was a band geek, and first chair clarinet for all those European countries we toured – Woo Hoo)  Now as you can imagine, they didn’t let a bunch of young high school kids run wild in New York by themselves, so I didn’t really get to see much of New York then.  So, I was pretty excited to finally get to come back and explore!

I had a pretty uneventful flight (although it was five and half freaking hours long) and I got an entire book read from front to back during that time, with some time to spare.  I did get to chat a bit with the couple next to me who were coming to New York for their 30th wedding anniversary.  And I kid you not – the couple right behind them were on the way to Germany for their 50th wedding anniversary…lol!

As you can imagine, everything looks MUCH smaller to me than it did when I was sixteen, but on the upside, since I’m a much more seasoned traveler than I was, it didn’t freak me out to hop into a cab and find my way to the hotel on 54th Street & Broadway in Manhattan.  I’m sure I was gaping at everything like a total tourist, but after arguing with the cabbie that yes, I was sure my hotel was on 54th & Broadway, and not on 16th Street—we made decent time and I arrived at the front door to my hotel without incident.  They even had my key ready at the desk since my hubby had told them I’d be checking in.

A perky doorman who looked barely old enough to drink grabbed my suitcase on his little wheeled contraption and I followed him upstairs to room 715—in fact he held the little envelope the front desk had given me with 715 written on it.  We made it to the 7th floor and I followed him around and he tried the key in 716—which, shocker—didn’t work.  I reminded him I was in 715 and he asked me if I was sure, so I reminded him about the envelope he still held in his hand.  Only then was he convinced, and tried the key in 715.  Voila!  The door lock clicks and he pushes the door open to reveal my hubby in his boxers and nothing else laying on the bed watching TV.  Now keep in mind, that throughout this entire episode, my hubby didn’t even move from his position in front of the air conditioner.  (Granted, he had been doing heavy lifting all day getting ready for his AV <Audio Visual>show, and was trying to cool off, but it’s still funny.)  Anyway, back to the bellman—he sees my hubby in his boxer-casual and turns to me and says, “There’s a guy in your room.”  To which I reply, “It’s okay.  That’s my husband.”  Said bellman looks back and forth between us and then says, “Are you sure”  LOL.  I assure him that the half naked man in my room is in fact mine, and even though he looks a bit dubious (bellman not husband), once I give him his tip, he’s happy enough to leave.

A few hours later, we met up with my hubby’s co-workers and fellow AV guys for dinner at a local BBQ spot.  Dinner was awesome and as is usual for an outing with these guys, the conversation was amusing and rambunctious with just a touch of raunchy.  🙂  Let’s just say if you are offended easily or can’t take some serious sarcasm and teasing, then you shouldn’t even try to hang out with this group—but I think they are a riot and I get along just fine.  If you’ve ever read any of my books, you know sarcasm isn’t a hardship for me…lol!

Wednesday morning dawned and my hubby had to be at work at around 6am—shudder—and I wanted to get an early start, but that three hour time difference  worked against me and I didn’t drag out of bed until about nine.  But once I was ready, I was excited to get out and explore.  I took the elevator down to the lobby with a spring in my step, even though I knew I was going to step into what the New Yorkers think of as nothing and I think of as a huge wall of stifling humidity (aka 40%).  Hey—remember, I’m from Arizona, we only know what humidity means because it occurs in other places around the globe!  Now I did check the weather report, and they said late afternoon showers, but since I expected to come back to the hotel on and off throughout the day to recover from my humidity overdose, I chose not to take my umbrella.

My first round of stops included the front of the David Letterman Theatre (which  was right around the corner from the hotel), Rockefeller Center including the tiny icy rink (I thought it would be bigger), Times Square and most of the Theatre District.  I even stopped at a great little Deli called Roxy for the freaking hugest Corned Beef sandwich (1 lb of meat) I’ve ever seen.  However, I could only eat a quarter of the thing.  But then it was time to head off for my tour of Kensington.

My editor, Audrey LaFehr, is on her honeymoon, so Hillary Sares was kind enough to step in and give me the grand tour.  My preconceived notions of what the Kensington offices looked like were totally blown out of the water.  Even though Kate Douglas told us when she visited, I guess the picture in my head hadn’t yet changed.  The reality was one floor instead of several, and cubes and offices just like you’d find in most other Corporate America companies.  I even got to see the so-called slush pile—which for Kensington only counts mail that comes in not addressed to any specific editor—there were only four or five envelopes in that pile.  Audrey’s office has a bookshelf full of manuscripts, books etc, and Hillary’s is similar with tons of covers and lots of fun knick knacks everywhere.  Unfortunately, Audrey’s assistant Amanda, wasn’t there and neither was Kristine who does the trade-sized covers, but I did get to see where they sit.  And I even got to see the 2008/2009 schedule up on the wall, all in neat color-coded cards.  Triangle of Seduction which is scheduled for August 2009 is up there, too!  Woo Hoo!  Everyone was very nice and it was terrific getting to sit and chat with Hillary while I was there.  I’ll definitely have to go back when Audrey is in, and have some chat time with her as well.

After my Kensington tour was complete, I headed back toward Rockefeller center to go to the Top of the Rock conservatory.  You know that picture of the 1930’s construction workers sitting on a beam that looks like it’s really high up in the middle of nowhere?  That was taken while they were building Rockefeller Center.  See, learn something new every day, I know I did. 🙂  After getting my ticket, I took the turbo elevator up 68 floors to the roof lookouts on the 69th and 70th floor.  It’s basically a 360 degree view of New York and was totally and completely amazing!  I can’t even begin to explain what it was like up there looking down over New York in all directions watching the soft fog of the impending storm move in.  (Yes, this is the part where I realized I should’ve probably brought my umbrella.)  It was sprinkling lightly while I was still breathing in the beauty of the 70th floor, by the time I made it back down to the 1st and threaded trough the maze of stores the exit dumps you out into rather than outside, it was pouring.

Oh yeah, did I mention I was wearing a white shirt?  LOL.  I’m a fast walker, but even skirting close to the edges of the buildings and under some of the awnings, by the time I got upstairs to my hotel room and looked in the mirror, I realized that  half of Manhattan got to see the white with light green designs bra I was wearing under my white shirt.  Gee—that shirt didn’t seem quite so plastered to me while I was speed walking through Manhattan!  Oops!

After drying off I went to dinner with the AV guys again, and I know you’ll be shocked, but they wanted to go to Hooters.  Yeah—eight guys and little old me go trooping into the Manhattan Hooters.  I wasn’t a fan of going—not because I have any issues with the waitresses or etc, but because if I want, I can go to a Hooters just down the street from my house.  So, in New York, I’d rather go somewhere that says New York to me.  Let’s just say that by the end of the night, everyone wished they would’ve opted for something else.  The service was far less than stellar.  Truly scary and not an experience I wish to repeat.  But hey—I guess more blog fodder even though I’m not going into detail.

Thursday morning started a little earlier than the day before and allowed me to get breakfast at a nearby restaurant while I perused my map and formed my plan of touristy visits.  First on my list was Central Park.  I’d seen it on TV in Sex and the City and in You’ve Got Mail, and now I would finally get to see the reality.  My view the previous day from the Top of the Rock assured me that I wouldn’t be disappointed by how small the park was in person, and up close, it was everything and more than I had hoped.  It was a tad less humid (only 30% – Woo Hoo!) but as an Arizonan I still carried around a bottle of water all day to stay hydrated.  The first several hours were spent just walking around and exploring.

I started at Columbus Circle, which was a quick walk up from the hotel, and just followed the general flow of joggers and dog walkers.  I think I just spent those hours absorbing all the beauty and nature around me, because I felt totally refreshed and ready for more.  On my way back to the front, I decided to do a horse-drawn carriage ride, which tours you through the lower part of the park.  Not a bad deal for around $40, and again, very relaxing.  Once I was done there, I strolled along Central Park South and found a few souvenirs to bring back to the kiddos at home, and then found a fresh bottle of water and an obliging park bench to people watch and just be.

A quick walk back to the hotel to dump my purchases and I found a quaint little Italian place just down the street called Basso 56.  They had a fixed price lunch for $18.50 with an amazing array of choices.  I went with mushroom soup and sea bass with veggies – YUM!

After lunch, I was revved up and caught a cab up to the Metropolitan Museum of Art.  I’d never been to the Met and I definitely wasn’t disappointed.  I started with the Greek and Roman Art section—my favorite are the sculptures.  There was a young boy with his mother looking at the statues nearby.  And in that “silent” voice children have that tends to carry, he told his mother he bet that all the males portrayed in the statues were divorced.  His mother, of course, asked him why he thought that.  His answer?  “Whenever you threaten to divorce Daddy, you always tell him you’ll rip off his penis, and all of these statues already have theirs broken off.”

I can tell you, I wasn’t the only one laughing in that wide open room!  Ahh, children 🙂

Anyway, after that I hit the Egyptian section—which is AMAZING!  Then the Armor, the American Decorative Arts and the Cloisters.  My feet were throbbing by then, but I wished I would’ve had time to see the Musical Instruments, Photographs, European Sculptures, Drawings & Prints, Costumes Institute, and a few others.  But maybe I’ll hit those on my next visit.

Next was a trip to the Toys R Us that has the huge Ferris Wheel inside it.  The line was too long, or I would’ve ridden the thing!  What can I say—I LOVE Ferris Wheels.  Then I hit the Hershey’s store, the M&M store and bunch of other touristy places in that area.  Then it was a quick cab ride off to Folio Literary Agency to meet with my agent, Paige Wheeler.  Paige and I went just across the street for drinks and had a great time chatting and catching up.  She was only in town for a few days this week, so I’m very glad we were able to hook up while I was there.

After a cab ride to the hotel and a quick rest, I saw my first New York flasher.  He wasn’t wearing a trench coat—too hot, I guess.  He just had some low slung shorts and boxers and as he was walking down the sidewalk toward me and the bevy of giggling college girls who happened to be walking behind me, he just popped the front of the shorts and boxers down and—well, to put it politely, me and all the girls were laughing our butts off.  Let’s just say that Vienna sausage would be giving the guy more credit than he deserves.  (poor guy!)  Anyway, the female cop that saw him present his “attributes” seemed about as amused as we were with the “spectacle” but cuffed him anyway.  LOL!

Next came some down time at the hotel and getting packed for the flight the next morning, and then a late dinner with the AV guys—Thai food this time.  I had never had Thai food before, but I was able to find some non spicy stuff that was really pretty good, and the company was entertaining as always.  Then it was a slow meander back to the hotel to finish getting packed for an early alarm clock.

Our flight was supposed to leave at 9:55 this morning, so we were ready to catch a cab at 7:30.  However, I got one of those cell phone alerts from US Airways that our flight was delayed for “Operational Issues.”  Since the hubby and I were already walking out the door, we caught our cab and were at the airport by 8am and through security by 8:15, where the rest of our group was told the plane was delayed because of “weather.”  LOL!  I had to laugh.  Whatever the reason, the plane didn’t actually take off until 11:25am.

Yeah, gotta love that extra time to just hang out and poke around the airport…lol!  But it wasn’t  total loss, I did get some writing done, and read nearly an entire book on the flight home, which was filled with turbulence—the flight, not the book!

Now I’m home and not even unpacked yet, but I didn’t want to miss my blog day.  So I hope you enjoyed my little slice of New York 🙂


What Modern Bombshell Are You?

Take the quiz and find out exactly what sexy bombshell you really are. I turned out to be Liv Tyler. What does that tell me? Not very much… But I’m not going to complain!

Who are you?

Take the test:

You Are Most Like Liv Tyler

“I don’t want to spend so much time obsessing about myself.”

What Modern Bombshell Are You Most Like?

Lynne Logan