I was contacted by a self-professed newbie writer who had just read my latest release, My Obsession, and wanted to know how the heck I wrote those sex scenes and kept track of who was doing what to who, when, while making it hot, romantic, sexy and keeping the emotional connection going, and making their dialogue sound so natural.
Whew! I was just relieved that I did all that stuff. I mean, I always try to. But it’s definitely not “plug and play” so to speak. Wow, that was a REALLY bad descriptor….snicker.
Anyway, I told her I was willing to chat a little, but that I didn’t have time for a longer discussion since I’m on a deadline. I told her that one of the places I teach online classes for regularly had already expressed interest in me teaching my “Writing Love Scenes” class again in 2016 and I would be announcing it on my FB page, twitter etc once I knew a date.
So then we chatted a bit and she told me how frustrated she was with writing the sex scenes, but that she just didn’t want to write sweet, since it was so far outside her personality. So I asked what her process was. (And yes, she gave me permission to use this as a blog post! LOL)
She said she starts out with a diagram and two paper dolls… Yep – you read that right! She cuts out two paper dolls – a guy (usually a little taller and less curvy) and a girl. Hell, I was impressed that she could do that! I can barely draw a circle or a straight line, let alone draw and cut out something that resembles two humans!!
I asked why she didn’t just use Barbies or something if she thought visualizing would help her. She said because they were her daughter’s toys and she couldn’t in good conscience use her them for this purpose. Not to mention she would feel like a pervert if she BOUGHT them for that purpose!
Anyway, she takes the paper dolls and tries to “script” things. And she watches porn flicks on her phone (so her hubby doesn’t catch her and think she’s creepy) to see what THEY do…you know…for tips and tricks!!
Once she has the basic scripting – (F) – R leg over (M) L shoulder, (F) – R arm flung wide on top of pillow (super soft high grade thread count sheets) etc….. Then she tries to decide at which point the big “O” should happen in the scene. And she marks that with a large O, circled with RED So she can AIM for it!
Then she goes back in and inserts dialogue – “Come on, you big stud, do me NOW!” and stuff like that.
That’s when she goes back in and fleshes out the scene to actually smooth the actions into the dialogue. After all of that she goes back in and adds stuff like the feel of the super soft sheets, the aroma of his man musk, the taste of his “emissions” (her word, not mine).
Then she lets her husband and her best friend read them so she can get feedback. But she keeps getting discouraged when they both laugh and tell her it’s the most hilarious thing they’ve ever read.
I’m glad we were chatting online so I didn’t make her even more discouraged with MY laughing! But I did give her some high level tips like NOT using porn of any type as a template or any kind of inspiration, and cutting down on purple prose. But also to read a LOT of books with hot sex scenes in them to see how other people do it (so to speak) while she gets the hang of writing them.
She said she’ll keep an eye out for my class but was excited that I had finally given her the secret to why her husband and best friend were most likely laughing rather than raving.
She was also impressed with me telling her that if her sex scenes didn’t turn HER on then the reader wouldn’t be turned on when they read them. She told me that a lightbulb came on for her when she heard that because all she felt was frustration when she was writing hers.
We had chatted enough and exchanged some fun banter after that when I told her she’s not alone. LOTS of newbie writers struggle with writing sex scenes. Hell – there are veteran writers out there who struggle with them! It’s tough to juggle all those things (yes, I DID almost type balls…snicker). But after all that, she did tell me I could use this for a blog. She said if it helped even one other writer feel better about writing the damned sex scenes, then it would be worth cringing when SHE read it!
So that’s my fun story to relate for the day, and I hope she feels better with the few tips I was able to share and I hope none of you hurt yourselves laughing while imagining this!! It still cracks me up!!