Category Archives: Just Chat

The Butterscotch Martini Girls Book Blab: Hilarious Cooking Disasters

Join The Butterscotch Martini Girls at our weekly Book Blab! This week we are talking about hilarious cooking disasters.

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100th Anniversary of ASU’s Marching Band by Tina Gerow/Cassie Ryan

Tina ASU band  This was from my Freshman year at Arizona State University, back in 1986 – EEP!!

Damn, has it really been that long? yep! I’ve only gone back for 2 Homecomings since I graduated in December of 1990. Marched the Alumni block in the halftime show and played in the stands. Every time it was great to see old friends and yell “Go Devils” and play the Fight Song – Maroon and Gold until I lost my voice…LOL!

I’m looking forward to that again…well, most of it. Due to the brain blowout – the neurologist nixed me marching. Too much chance of a concussion from the half a brain that’s floating around up there getting beat up from all that marching. I also need to be careful not to play too loud. Puts pressure on the whole sinus cavity which the healing brain might not like. THAT one will be tough for me because the idea in marching band – especially on an instrument like clarinet is to play LOUD most of the time…LOL…

AND, I just downloaded the music and did a quick EEP! I need to get with my sister ASAP and get my marching clarinet. My niece just started band and she’s using it until she gets her own. But my sister said I’m good to borrow it back for Homecoming weekend, and Megan can take my sister’s wooden one to school.

I can sit here and hum and finger through the music, but I need to get the clarinet in hand – AND go get some reeds, a lyre and a flip folder for the music… and practice!

I’m sure the lady who lives above us will be pissy! She gets her panties in a twist when Jon plays his acoustic guitar down here, I’m sure she’ll LOVE a clarinet – especially in the high register…snerk!

Even though I won’t be as confident playing as I was 25 years ago, I’m still really excited!

I’ve resigned myself that people might not recognize me or remember me, and I might not recognize or remember some of them. After all – this is the 100th anniversary of the marching band – which means people from the last 100 years will be coming back for band! Hey – it could happen! We could have a 118 year old tuba player show up and rock the band!! Don’t underestimate the bandies!

The ASUSDMB changed all of our lives! I was a music major, but most people in band weren’t. Those people were all so dear to me for the 5 years I was in band before graduating and moving away! Now I find myself doing a bit of memory lane walking tonight…  Here’s a few pics that are on my hard drive…I’m tempted to go scan even more…

 

Tina ASU band banquet

Here’s Paul Patterson and I at the end of season Band Banquet in 1986!!

 

Tina college hijinx

Wow!  We all look so freaking young!!  From left to right…  Scott Burgener – aka Burgenbooger, Christy, Scott Hexum, Me (Tina Hatcher, aka Hatchbitch) per Burgenbooger…lol, Bill Gallimore & Kathy Hunt!  This was one of our late night undercover missions to do something to Paul Patterson’s primer-painted car…We saran wrapped it, covered it in sprinkles and cherries!

I can’t find the pic of us covering his car entirely int those mini post it notes!!  That was classic 🙂 We really do love you, Paul! We just loved messing with that car 🙂

Tina college recital

And finally….here’s me at my Senior Clarinet recital in December of 1990… Damn, check out that 90’s hair and the cheesy dress…snicker 🙂

Enough memories for one night!

Here’s me now…this was at Benihana’s with my hubby Jon for our 12th wedding anniversary this past March.  I might look different, but I’m still ready and willing to raise some hell!

Bring on the ASUSDMB! (That stands for Arizona State University Sun Devil Marching Band!!)

 

12th Anniversary Dinner

And here’s my snarky mini me, Darian. Well, almost a mini me – he plays trumpet!  You know those trumpet players…snerk! But seriously – he’s an awesome kid! (And if you follow that link to his FB – NO! I did NOT give him that middle name, Abbadon!  He’s got a perfectly good middle name – Ryan, but insists on the other one because it annoys me…LOL!)

Tina & D graduation

 

So here’s hoping that after 25 years, people still recognize this snarky ex band director who has put her dirty mind to good use as a smut writer for the safety of herself and others 🙂

Tina

The Grand Hotel – Great fun even if you don’t like ghosts!

jeromerestaurantI’ve visited the Grand Hotel for a number of years. It’s known to be haunted and I can attest to that. I’ve smelled cigarette smoke in the hall when there is no one on the floor or above and below it. I started visiting with my local writer’s group. For a couple of years a group of writers would go up for a Haunted Retreat and focus on writing. I continued to go every year after even if it was to have lunch or dinner at the Asylum Restaurant.

The restaurant alone is a good reason to visit. The best time to go is during October when they decorate the place. They fill the room with every manner of Halloween decoration and the waiters and waitresses all dress up for the entire month of October. If you do go, try their butternut squash. It’s the best I’ve ever jeromesouptasted! What’s also great about visiting in October is that the weather is perfect and you can sit out on the patio. And if you’re a writer, you can open your laptop and write for a bit. I’ve done it a couple of times when the place wasn’t so crowded. The view is also amazing on the patio. You can see the valley below and Sedona’s red rock in the distance.

If you want to hear more about the hauntings at the hotel you can visit my own website for more details.

Portland’s Ghost Tour – What fun!

Ghost Tour Parking LotI posted over on my site about Old Town Pizza restaurant in Portland and Nina the ghost. I’ve always enjoyed going to haunted places. I took a tour with my daughter. I wanted to learn about some of Portland’s history but I wanted to drag my daughter with me. She doesn’t like historical tours so I found the next best thing. A ghost tour! I learned so much about Portland’s history and how unsuspecting men were kidnapped and forced to become sailors and sail to Shanghai.

The parking lot here was taken above the Shanghai tunnels. I had no idea about the notorious history of Portland until my first trip. During our ghost tour they gave us EMF detectors. They went off a number of times, but strangely it was this parking lot that had the most activity. Then at the end of the tour we went down into some of the tunnels. Talk about creepy! The tour guide showed us a couple of pictures from some of people who had taken the tour. A number of orbs and a faint, ghostly image of a woman showed up in the pictures. I think my daughter is hooked! lol

Along with the tour during my visit, I dropped by Powell’s Bookstore,  the largest bookstore in the US. It was amazing! Four floors of books and more than a full block. The store became so large they had to expand to another block. If you love to read and if you’re in Portland, drop by the store if you can. But I warn you, an hour isn’t going to be near long enough to look around. I would have been there the entire day if my daughter hadn’t dragged me away. For more information about Powell’s you can visit there site. Also if you’re in Portland and want to try something different, try a ghost tour or one of Portland’s Walking Tours.

Also, if you want to read about my visit at Old Town Pizza and Nina the ghost you can visit my web site.

 

 

One new writer’s hilarious “process” for writing sex scenes! @tinagerow

My Obsession Cover

I was contacted by a self-professed newbie writer who had just read my latest release, My Obsession, and wanted to know how the heck I wrote those sex scenes and kept track of who was doing what to who, when, while making it hot, romantic, sexy and keeping the emotional connection going, and making their dialogue sound so natural.

Whew! I was just relieved that I did all that stuff. I mean, I always try to. But it’s definitely not “plug and play” so to speak. Wow, that was a REALLY bad descriptor….snicker.

Anyway, I told her I was willing to chat a little, but that I didn’t have time for a longer discussion since I’m on a deadline. I told her that one of the places I teach online classes for regularly had already expressed interest in me teaching my “Writing Love Scenes” class again in 2016 and I would be announcing it on my FB page, twitter etc once I knew a date.

So then we chatted a bit and she told me how frustrated she was with writing the sex scenes, but that she just didn’t want to write sweet, since it was so far outside her personality. So I asked what her process was. (And yes, she gave me permission to use this as a blog post! LOL)

She said she starts out with a diagram and two paper dolls… Yep – you read that right! She cuts out two paper dolls – a guy (usually a little taller and less curvy) and a girl. Hell, I was impressed that she could do that! I can barely draw a circle or a straight line, let alone draw and cut out something that resembles two humans!!

I asked why she didn’t just use Barbies or something if she thought visualizing would help her. She said because they were her daughter’s toys and she couldn’t in good conscience use her them for this purpose. Not to mention she would feel like a pervert if she BOUGHT them for that purpose!

Anyway, she takes the paper dolls and tries to “script” things. And she watches porn flicks on her phone (so her hubby doesn’t catch her and think she’s creepy) to see what THEY do…you know…for tips and tricks!!

Once she has the basic scripting – (F) – R leg over (M) L shoulder, (F) – R arm flung wide on top of pillow (super soft high grade thread count sheets) etc….. Then she tries to decide at which point the big “O” should happen in the scene. And she marks that with a large O, circled with RED So she can AIM for it!

Then she goes back in and inserts dialogue – “Come on, you big stud, do me NOW!” and stuff like that.

That’s when she goes back in and fleshes out the scene to actually smooth the actions into the dialogue. After all of that she goes back in and adds stuff like the feel of the super soft sheets, the aroma of his man musk, the taste of his “emissions” (her word, not mine).

Then she lets her husband and her best friend read them so she can get feedback. But she keeps getting discouraged when they both laugh and tell her it’s the most hilarious thing they’ve ever read.

I’m glad we were chatting online so I didn’t make her even more discouraged with MY laughing! But I did give her some high level tips like NOT using porn of any type as a template or any kind of inspiration, and cutting down on purple prose. But also to read a LOT of books with hot sex scenes in them to see how other people do it (so to speak) while she gets the hang of writing them.

She said she’ll keep an eye out for my class but was excited that I had finally given her the secret to why her husband and best friend were most likely laughing rather than raving.

She was also impressed with me telling her that if her sex scenes didn’t turn HER on then the reader wouldn’t be turned on when they read them. She told me that a lightbulb came on for her when she heard that because all she felt was frustration when she was writing hers.

We had chatted enough and exchanged some fun banter after that when I told her she’s not alone. LOTS of newbie writers struggle with writing sex scenes. Hell – there are veteran writers out there who struggle with them! It’s tough to juggle all those things (yes, I DID almost type balls…snicker). But after all that, she did tell me I could use this for a blog. She said if it helped even one other writer feel better about writing the damned sex scenes, then it would be worth cringing when SHE read it!

So that’s my fun story to relate for the day, and I hope she feels better with the few tips I was able to share and I hope none of you hurt yourselves laughing while imagining this!! It still cracks me up!!

Tina

4Cats of Christmas@tinagerow@britblaise

ChristmasTree2014

It may not be the most beautiful tree I’ve ever had, but this one means more to me than all of those others…

 

 

 

 

We haven’t had a Christmas Tree up since 2008. In October 2009 we lost Jon’s 23-year-old kitty Katie…

Katie

 

 

 

 

 

Rusty was left by himself and started mooning around the house, missing his buddy, Katie…

 

 

So we went to the pound and fell in love with our black beauty, Nox (the Goddess of the night)

Nox April 2014.5yo

Nox was only 4 months old when we got her in December 2009, and even though she was pretty skittish because she came from a house with several crawling children, she was a normal kitten and liked to explore and climb whenever possible. So we didn’t think a Christmas tree with all its temptations would be a good thing with a 4 month old kitten in the house.

Then in November 2010 I had my brain blowout, and our house was foreclosed on in December so we moved into an apartment.  No tree that year.

And for all of you who follow me on Facebook or Twitter you know that we lost our sweet Rusty in October of this year.

Choc Affaire 2008001

 

 

 

 

 

This time it was Nox’s turn to be lonely and moon around the house without Rusty. She had never been a lone cat in her entire life. And she wandered the house looking for Rusty even though she came and bumped noses with him as he passed over the Rainbow Bridge.

So Rocky came to live with us…our resident small pony…er….Maine Coon.

16.5 pounds of long-haired, purring sweetness…

Rocky

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway, my guys knew how much I’ve missed having a Christmas tree and decorating for Christmas so on my birthday last week they decided to pull out our artificial tree, do basic decorations and see how the cats handled it.

Armed with the spray bottle I got Rocky to stop trying to chew on the branches and Nox to stop chewing on the bows of the presents under the tree….  After a few days we added more ornaments and they’re still doing fine with it. No broken ornaments and only a few mushed presents – although nothing breakable from just this:

RockyUnderTree

 

 

 

Rocky likes to lie on the smaller presents under the tree. He’s adorable and he’s not really hurting anything so we just let him stay there and look cute 🙂

As for me, I’m still writing. Getting my kink on daily and trying to finish up this current WIP.  Darian just finished finals for this semester and Jon is getting some shows done before he starts vacation next week…

Thank you for joining me for the 4 Cats of Christmas!!  And I hope all of you have terrific holiday seasons, no matter which ones/what you celebrate!

Tina

Déjà vu or Premonition? – by Tia Dani

Lately we have been experiencing déjà vu concerning one of our books.

If you have been following the news this past year there’s been a particular issue covered which was of interest to us (yes, there has been a ton of events happening but we wanted to discuss only one).

We’re talking about the outbreak of undrinkable water around the United States. For example, in January 2014, West Virginia was forced to deal with contamination of one of their rivers. Nine counties’ drinking water began to smell like licorice. Investigation eventually discovered a potential toxicity of Crude HCHM primarily composed of a chemical name 4-methylcyclohexand methanol had leaked from a coal company’s old storage tank into West Virginia’s Elk River, rolling down to many towns drinking systems.

Symptoms of ingesting this chemical through water soon gave way to various ailments such as stomachs, rashes, and other ailments. In time over 300,000 people were forced to go without tap water for three days.

Now, in August, we hear of cities around Lake Erie experiencing a water pollution problem as well. This time a major city, Toledo, Ohio, and parts of SE Michigan (over 500,000 people) were affected. Not only from their drinking water, but for bathing and cooking. The suspected cause…a blue-green algae growing in the usually warm Lake Erie and fed by high amounts of microcystin, a cyanotoxin. It came from excess farming runoff (nitrogen and phosphorus) and eventually drained into the lake.

When the incident happened in West Virginia, we thought…Oh, wow! How ironic…but now with Michigan and Ohio having problems, it really brought home how poignant our book Color of Dreams was turning out to be. One of the major themes in the book is about water pollution and how, if not checked, could affect people downriver who relied on waterways supplying their drinking water.

Color of Dreams revolves a young woman who is determined to stop a corporation from secretly dumping a pollutant into a river that feeds into a major water source. One stumbling block is the hero (and a former sweetheart) who recently came to work for the corporation.

Though the story also involves the premises of spiritual protection of our earth, the message to our readers was to show how important we as humans must protect our planet.

There is also another reason as to why we are so intrigued over this incident. More and more we are discovering that often our stories are premonition driven. We can’t say why or how it happens but we now believe it will eventually become clear.

Right now Color of Dreams is on sale at Breathless Press for $2.50. (50% off)

http://www.breathlesspress.com/index.php?main_page=product_free_shipping_info&cPath=13&products_id=417

Tia Dani

http://www.tiadani.com

Common Sense Relationship Commandments @TinaGerow

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I don’t claim to be the guru of relationships. In fact looking back over all of my relationships I made a muck of some of them and made poor choices at times on who to enter into a relationship with.

However, I learned a lot to get to where I am today – in a very happy relationship with my wonderful husband, Jon.

But I definitely went through the school of hard knocks to get here…

So that you all can benefit from my ‘doing it the hard way’ – here are some lessons learned, not just from my own relationships but from watching friends and family along the way.

I figured there might be people out there who could benefit from these pearls of snarky wisdom that I learned the hard way.

So here we go… Hold on to your hats and remember, these are just my opinions. If they help you or speak to you, use them with my blessing and well wishes. If they don’t, then let them just leak out of your brain and back into the Universal Consciousness.

First let’s start with the stuff most of us WANT:

When I used to say my daily affirmations around romantic relationships, I always said this sentence: “We have a happy, honest, trusting, passionate, loving, empowering, fulfilling, equal partnership, best friend & lover, soul mate and very affectionate, and committed relationship where we can both be our true selves with the other person and be totally accepted and loved for who we are.”

And really that’s what I wanted and what I think most people want. I’m lucky to have found this with my wonderful husband, Jon. But it took me lots of years and tears to get here.

But in order for me to get to this point, I (and others I’ve observed) had to follow some common sense commandments!

1.    Thou shalt assume positive intent with your partner. What this means is that you give them the benefit of the doubt in things, and don’t automatically assume negative intent. After all, if you’re in a relationship, you should care deeply about this person and there’s a certain amount of trust inherent in that. That does NOT mean that if you walk in and find your partner butt naked in bed with another person that this isn’t exactly what it looks like! And don’t let them off the hook that easy. I’m sorry, but I wouldn’t buy the, “I tripped and fell naked inside your best friend, who also happened to be naked,” excuse here. But unfortunately, I know lots of people – both women and men who have bought that kind of reasoning. There’s assuming positive intent and then there’s letting yourself be a doormat. Use common sense and go with your gut!

2.    Game playing does NOT a good relationship make. This means all the buying yourself flowers in an effort to make him jealous, spraying yourself with another woman’s perfume to make her ‘appreciate you more,’ leaving stuff at his apartment so you can have an excuse to call him, pretending to get calls or texts from other men to make him realize that you’re a “hot commodity” and everything else that falls into this game-player category is totally manipulation and bull, and has no place in a mature relationship that encompasses all the good traits I listed above in my affirmation.

3.    Thou shalt not hit or abuse in any way your partner! This is what it sounds like – no physical abuse, but also no mental abuse, and definitely no sexual abuse. This would include mind games, manipulation, guilt trips and plain old hitting etc. Now I’ve told every guy I ever dated that if he ever hit me I was gone – no second chances, no do overs etc. Gone and done. Period! I grew up in an abusive household, and I know that has no place in my adult life, and I don’t want my son around it either. There’s absolutely no excuse for this kind of behavior. None. If you have anger issues, get them taken care of. Don’t take them out on someone else. Get yourself healthy and THEN find a relationship.

4.    Thou shalt still remain your own separate person once you enter into a relationship. We’ve all known those people who when they enter into a relationship, they cease being their own person – and become an amalgam of their previous self and their new partner. Now a certain give and take in a relationship is expected and healthy. But totally giving up who you are – in essence becoming a “chameleon” of the person you’re with is not only unhealthy for both of you, but also extremely annoying to the rest of the world at large. I know a few women who are “relationship chameleons” and to be honest, I have very little respect for them. I don’t feel sorry for them – even though they end up unhappy in their relationships – they have a choice and choose to give up their personalities to become what they THINK the other person wants. Don’t let this happen to you! You CAN and SHOULD remain YOU in a relationship.

5.    Thou shalt openly and honestly communicate at all times – I.e. Say What you mean, Mean what you say, and carry through with what you say you will. This should be a no brainer, but sadly, I know many people who break all of this…often. In any relationship honesty and good communication are extremely important, but in a romantic relationship – they are absolutely imperative. I’m not saying to keep a notebook of everything your partner says so you can remind them every time they mess up (which will lead into our next commandment), but be a good communicator and be straightforward and honest – your partner and your relationship will be better off for it.

6.    Thou shalt not “keep score.” You know what I mean. Many people have a mental tally list of each time their partner messes up or does something wrong. This is NOT a good way to keep a healthy relationship going. People make mistakes, and if they are truly sorry and make amends, then make up, and LET IT GO. I.e. Forget about it and don’t continually bring it up. I’m not saying that everything is forgivable – it’s not. And it’s up to each individual what is a deal breaker to them and what is not. But keeping score will only eat away at your relationship like acid until it crumbles around you in ruins.

7.    Thou shalt be an equal partner in your relationship. This one is important. I know a lot of people, both women and men, who want the other person to always take care of them, make the decisions etc. If that’s the kind of relationship you truly want, then I wish you well – but I’ve been in relationships like that and I only ended up miserable. I want a partnership. I want both of us to have an equal say, both of us to pull equal ‘relationship weight’ and both of us to be just as invested in the relationship as the other. I took a sociology class at Arizona State where we talked about “The Principle of Least Interest” – which means the person with the least interest in the relationship has all the power. I’m sure we all know how it feels to be that person with less power in the relationship because that means the other person is not very interested in seeing the relationship succeed. And you should probably end things and find another more healthy relationship. By the same token, if one of you is always the one who contacts, initiates sex, asks to see the other one, always does the calling, planning, etc. – that’s not fair on either side and will wear on the relationship and both of you over time. Respect yourself and your partner enough to make sure you have an equal partnership relationship – you’ll both be happier for it.

8.    You and your partner are not static beings. Leave room for growth and change. In any relationship, but especially in romantic ones, people are going to change over time as they experience new things and grow. There has to be room for this within the relationship and both parties have to feel safe enough that as they grow and change their partner will still love and accept them.

9.    Thou shalt not change your relationship expectations mid stream and be angry with your partner because they don’t adhere to them! In my first marriage, he was attracted to me because I was so different from the girls he grew up with. I was independent and outgoing, an overachieve and a doer. But once we got married and had our son, he magically expected me to transform into someone who no longer wanted to work outside the home, a gourmet cook who did crafts and kept a meticulous house, and got my entire sense of self worth from my house, my family and my “homemaker” accomplishments. Yeah – you can imagine how well that worked out. He changed expectations mid stream and was disappointed when I didn’t adhere to them. People don’t work like that. And while relationships bend…they also break. Be honest about your expectations up front and don’t expect your partner to magically transform to meet your new ones. This doesn’t mean that if your partner is an alcoholic that you can’t ask and expect them to get help and get clean and sober. But that leads us to our next commandment.

10.    Thou shalt fix your own issues BEFORE you subject another person to them! If you have anger issues, abandonment issues, jealousy issues, addiction issues or whatever – go get help and work through your baggage BEFORE you subject some other poor soul to that. We all have baggage, triggers, hot buttons etc, but do your due diligence up front and work through your own “crap” and you’ll have much happier relationships. Because what happens is both of you bring your baggage, triggers, hot buttons etc into the relationship – and a lot of time, your “baggage, triggers, hot buttons” etc – don’t play nicely together. Those are your defense mechanisms, and they come out automatically until you work through the issue that causes them. For example, because of my abusive childhood, I have an issue with people lashing out at me – I shut down. I’ve gone to counseling and I’m a LOT better with this, but even to this day – if someone lashes out at me, I shut down and they’ve lost the argument – I’ve already stopped listening. That’s my trigger and my defense mechanism. I’ve had relationships where we both needed to learn to NOT trigger each other just so we could have time and opportunity to communicate and work out whatever we needed to talk about. It CAN be done with patience and love and understanding. But we all know people who have TONS of personal issues – baggage, we usually call it, that they take with them from relationship to relationship and they end up leaving a trail of pain and destruction behind. Things would be better all the way around if they spent some time working through their own baggage so they don’t keep dragging it with them.

11.    Sex is NOT a manipulation tool. It’s a beautiful physical expression between two (or more…yes, I went there…lol) people who care for each other. But we’ve all known people who use it as a punishment (by withholding) or a manipulation tool (will only put out if their partner does X…etc.) This makes sex a tool and not a sharing, intimate experience that brings you closer like it should be. So repeat after me: “Sex is not a tool to manipulate my partner!!” By the same token, you should take equal part in initiating sex. And my total rule of thumb is: Anything between two consenting adults is fair game. Just make sure – you’re both consenting ADULTS and that you both consent to whatever it is you’re proposing doing. Then from there – feel free to get as freaky as you BOTH want….and enjoy! If you need some ideas – my Cassie Ryan author website has a list of my smokin’ hot erotic books. The Seduction Series has quite a few fun ideas, as does the Sisters of Darkness Series.

12.    Thou shalt make your partner and your relationship a priority in your life. This does NOT mean that your new partner takes precedence over the well being of your children, your job, your existing friendships or family relationships etc. But this does mean they need to be prioritized in there with all the rest of these things. If your partner feels like they always come last in your life – they most likely won’t be your partner for long. Relationships are living things and need time, love and attention.

13.    Thou shalt always be mindful of the children in any relationship! As I mentioned above, I had an abusive childhood. I’ve been a step kid, had stepfathers, step siblings etc. There were many times where I felt like I no longer mattered and that I had fallen to last place on my mom’s priority list. For that reason, I was always very mindful of my son whenever I entered into a new relationship, and I was very mindful of the children of anyone I dated. I know how it feels to have someone new come into your life, and I know how jarring it can be when you feel like you’re suddenly cut off from your parent because this new person has usurped your place in their life! Try to take a look at things from your child’s point of view and make sure they still feel like they are an important part of your life and that they still have access, love and support from you, or their parent. If you’re the new step parent or even the new girlfriend or boyfriend – be mindful that the kids were there first, and there’s a certain inherent priority that SHOULD come with them being their parent’s child. That doesn’t mean that if they are little hellions and their parent doesn’t rein them in that you have to just sit back and take it! See my commandment above about open communication! But being a child means there are a lot of things you are powerless about in your own life – and new relationships for your parent can be scary and jarring. Try to make this as pain-free for them as possible.

14.    If you’re unhappy in your current relationship, then listen to your gut and take appropriate action. We all know someone who constantly bemoans how unhappy they are, but never want to do anything to change it. There are ALWAYS options…even if you don’t like what they are, and life is too short to be miserable! So put your big girl panties or big boy boxers on and FIX IT! This may involve openly communicating with your partner, seeking 3rd party help like counseling, or even deciding to end the relationship and leave. Respect yourself enough to choose to be happy and make the hard choices that will help you get there.

15.    Thou shalt respect yourself enough to know you deserve a happy relationship. There are some people out there who either consciously or unconsciously think they don’t deserve a happy relationship. Respect and love yourself enough to know that EVERYONE deserves to find happiness and a happy relationship is just part of that! If you can’t get to that point – it might be time for that third party help to work through your past issues that are keeping you from seeing how worthy you are! Don’t let the past dictate who you are. YOU dictate who you are in the future!

I’m sure I could keep these going to 100, but I learned the hard way and I’m sure a lot of you have too, so if there are any I’ve missed, please feel free to comment and add. And to everyone – I wish you a happy, honest, trusting, passionate, loving, empowering, fulfilling, equal partnership, best friend & lover, soul mate, very affectionate and committed relationship where you can both be your true selves with the other person and be totally accepted and loved for who you are!

Blessings & All Happiness

Tina

Loving the Writer’s Life

There’s nothing like a fabulous vacation to get the creative juices flowing. As writers we’re always looking for an exotic location for our next book.  So when my dear friend, and Ellora’s Cave author, Lexi Post, invited Cathy McDavid and myself to visit with her and her husband, we were absolutely thrilled to accept the invitation. They live on the island of St. Croix in the Caribbean. And she asked us to bring our books. The local bookstore invited us to have a book signing while there.  

St. Croix is in the United States Virgin Islands so a passport wasn’t needed. This was perfect because I was worried I wouldn’t have enough time for one to be issued before we planned to leave.:

As soon as our plane landed we got a craving for a tropical island cocktail. The first one I ordered was a Pina Colada. Cathy ordered a Mango Daiquiri. Both were absolutely delicious. However, it wasn’t long before we switched to rum punch. It seemed to be the drink of choice for the island.

 

We spent the first morning relaxing on the porch enjoying the view. We worked on our current work in progress (cause that’s what writers do) until noon then took a drive to downtown Frederiksted.    

Frederiksted was named after Frederick V of Denmark, who purchased the Danish West Indies in 1754.

 

A cruise ship had docked and all the local shops had set up tents along the sidewalks. We had to check them out and buy a few souvenirs.

We were invited to brunch by Lexi’s friend, Tanisha.  Tanisha has lived in St Croix all her life and would not consider leaving her island paradise lifestyle. And who can blame her?

How’s this for a view?

Next we stopped by the Domino Club in the rainforest. We had to see the beer drinking pigs.  Do I look a little scared? Yep, kinda was.

The rainforest and this tree is absolutely huge.

We made history on the island of St. Croix. We were the first romance authors to ever hold a book signing on the island. Thank you so much. Undercover Bookstore, for giving us such a warm welcome.

Cathy McDavid, Lexi Post, Tia Dani

The following day we did a tour of the island. We walked where Columbus and his crew landed and came ashore. We drove over to Point Udall. Point Udall, St Croix, V.I. the Easternmost point of the United States of America. Named for Stewart Udall, United States Secretary of the Interior under Presidents John F. Kennedy and L.B. Johnson. Then on for drinks at a nearby resort. Rum punch on the patio.       http://www.gotostcroix.com/historic-sites

After a quick stop by the casino it was on to dinner in Christiansted.

There is plenty to do while on the island. if you plan to go check out the cultural events.http://www.gotostcroix.com/crucian-culture

For a great Chai stop in the local coffee house, Polly’s. https://www.facebook.com/pollysatthepier 

We decided we could not leave the island without taking a sunset cruise. The cruise definitely turned out to be one of the high points of the trip. We had so much fun. Our captain and his mate were quite handsome and the run punch flowed.

Great story about these two guys. They met on the island and turned out they were half brothers. Wasn’t long before they started up a business together.

The beautiful sunset

Tia Dani, Cathy and Lexi

All good things must come to an end including vacations. now it’s back to work finishing our book in progress while dreaming about where our next adventure will take us. Hawaii anyone?

BTW the next trip will include both Tia and Dani.  Who knows, maybe we’ll all go and make it a Butterscotch Martini Girls vacation? We can’t wait to find out.

Tia Dani

Time's Enduring Love

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A few random thoughts before I finish Galley Checks…

I’ll admit I’m a bit scattered today since my brain is fully engaged in Galley checks for Trio of Seduction, which releases on July 29th.  So, instead of a “proper” blog – you know, something witty, thought provoking or controversial…instead, I’ll give you a few random thoughts.

First – my son introduced me to a new song I like by a band called Good Charlotte.  Check it out – it’s called Where Would We Be Now.

Here’s an interesting article on Why Vampires Would Have a Population Problem

If you’re a Star Trek The Next Generation Fan & A Family Guy Fan – you MUST set your DVR’s for this Sunday night.  Check out the Trailer for the TNG episode of Family Guy.

Here’s an article on the test that can tell you if your marriage will survive.

Here you can get your very own Star Trek tribble!!

My favorite Matthew MacFadyen fan site – Darcylicious.com

My Twitter page – go to www.twitter.com and I’m at @TinaGerow

And finally – some cute animal pics 🙂

Enjoy!

Tina/Cassie