Category Archives: Straight Talk

The age old question:”Does size really matter & Is there such a thing as too much?” @tinagerow

We’ve all heard the old adage that size doesn’t really matter, but is that really true?  Let’s explore this thought a little…  And don’t get your panties in a twist.  This is a no nonsense, straight talk discussion of the topic, so if you are a fainter or easily offended you might want to close the page now.

Without sounding like a total slut I’ll admit I have dated a few men and married two of them, so I’ve seen a few naughty bits in my time.

My conclusion:  Does size really matter?  Well, sometimes, yes it does.  But not always.

I’ve also written several heroes, I think 16 to be exact, and not all of them were uber huge, but I have to admit that I did make them all amazing in bed.  Hey, it’s a romance novel!!  Readers don’t want to read about the guy who doesn’t know what the heck he’s doing!  They want to read about some amazing hot sex and a man who is willing to do his part!

So in both real life AND romance novels if the guy doesn’t have size going for him – at least enough so you know something is there and going on, he’s got to make up for it in other ways.  For example, if he’s a little low on the length/girth equation but he’s a great kisser, caresser and can get the job done in other ways – oral, touching etc – then that goes a long way.  A LOT of guys both in real life AND in books tend to skim on all of that stuff and just rely on size.  And honestly, sex is really about the journey.  If it was all about just the orgasm then everyone would only be masturbating and not even bothering to find a partner.  And if it was all about the length/girth then all of us women could just get Mr. Dong at the sex store and not even bother with the living/breathing men that is attached to Mr. Happy.

The kissing, touching, cuddling, intimacy parts of the equation are one of the best things!  Yes, even for you guys out there!  After all, sex is 80% in your brain.  More in mine since I only have 1/2 of my brain left!!  LOL…  But seriously, if you aren’t in the ambiance, mood, mindset for good sex, you might as well just be masturbating at home alone.  The brain and your thoughts are really what can make things erotic. So use that to your advantage.  That’s what setting the stage is about – not just trappings.  Setting the stage is what engages your brain and can bring a whole new level of erotic to sex!

And believe it or not, there really is such a thing as TOO much!!!!  If you feel like it’s up in your throat choking you, but you’re having vaginal intercourse – there might be a little too much length involved.  Especially if you’re a tall woman!!!!  Just saying!  And if there’s just too much girth to even fit, then I’d say that combination really isn’t a good fit.

So the holy grail for women is the guy who makes sure that you both enjoy things and who knows it’s about the journey for both of you and not just a scoreboard for either of your egos.  And guys – that’s the holy grail for you in a woman too!  Believe it or not there are women out there who love sex, love to give blow jobs and can more than keep up with you.  But you have to bring your half to the table.  Sex is an equal partnership – or it should be.

So for those guys out there who are worried they don’t have enough.  Ptttth….  Get in there and kiss, cuddle, touch, and yes, if you’re okay with it – being good at oral sex can help mitigate that as well!  Bring that package to the table and no matter what’s filling out your jockeys your woman will be moaning and begging for more!

And women – you have some responsibility too!  Don’t forget to take care of your man! He likes caresses too!  His nipples can be just as sensitive as ours.  And don’t underestimate the fun of finding out where his most sensitive and erogenous spots are.  Explore with lips and teeth and tongue and watch him go insane! 🙂

And of course, most guys really love receiving oral sex!  I’ve only ever met one who SAYS he doesn’t like it, but I think he just hasn’t had good oral sex yet…  And ladies – it’s a little off topic but let’s talk swallowing….  If it’s already in your mouth, what’s the big deal?????  I mean, really?????  What’s a little extra protein between friends – unless it’s that “funky spunk” going on.  (Sorry for the Sex In the City reference, but if you don’t get that one, just ask)  Just me?

That’s my thoughts for the day!  Off to get my kink on – aka, write!


Goals & Motivations

I’ve set myself some pretty good goals for 2008 and some even loftier goals to be achieved by 2010.

First, an update. I lost 10 pounds in January! At this rate I am going to look amazing in my Faery outfit for RT. 2 more months, another 10 pounds a month, I’ll be right back where I wanted to be, and in better shape than I’ve been in years.

Heart of Glass, my November 2007 release made the top 10 bestseller list at Whiskey Creek Press Torrid. This is the 2nd consecutive month my titles have made the top 10.

The same title received a 4 star review in Romantic Times Magazine, the review will be published in the March 2008 edition, along with my ad.


On the writing side, I’ve been slacking. Not a single word written since January 5th. I did not meet my goal of 3 submissions for January, but will strive to make it happen in Feb. I sat at the computer last night and opened my current work in progress. Not a bad story if I do say so myself. Whether a publisher thinks so is entirely another story. Hope to blog about “the call” here soon. J


Anyway, I digress. I opened the document and began to edit chapter 1, again. Now, this can be a good thing or this can be considered destructive. In this case, it’s destructive. How am I ever going to progress and write the rest of the book if I’m hung up on editing the first chapter? Answer: I’m not.


I need to back up for a moment and tell you where I found my motivation again. I spent the weekend at the Glendale Chocolate Affaire and shared a tent with 26 other romance authors in various stages of their writing careers. Everyone from self published to USA Today best sellers gathered to autograph their books and chat with people. They were the friendliest and nicest group I’ve had the pleasure of spending a solid 48 hours with. This event which happens the first weekend in February, every year, was the key. The spark to relight my writing flame.

I brought my laptop to work with me today and spent my lunch hour writing. I only managed to eke out 2 pages, but, and this is a big but (pardon the pun) they were 2 NEW pages. Maybe that 2010 goal I set isn’t so lofty after all.


What rekindles your writing flame when the fire goes out?

Kayla Janz