Category Archives: Life Events

Remembering my brother 16 years later…@TinaGerow

James Douglas Hatcher

My brother Jim died 16 years ago today, and since I’ve been thinking about him a lot lately, I thought remembering him today would be a great blog.

So today I remember not his death, but his life. He was only 53 when he died, and for the most part I always remember him as a robust, energetic, sweet, funny, obnoxious smartass.  🙂

Yes, for those of you who follow my pages or read my books, this won’t be a surprise to you. That runs in our family. And in fact I probably have Jim to thank for a lot of my snark abilities!

Since my Dad, through no fault of his own, didn’t get to see me grow up, Jim became something of a father figure to me. He was the one who taught me to tie my shoes, ride a bike, and swim.

Well, he threw me in and told me to paddle or sink…LOL. Yes, at the time I wasn’t amused, but I learned to swim really fast! And I’m still a very strong swimmer to this day… Although I did NOT teach my son to swim that way!!

Jim also taught me how to load, clean, care for, and shoot a gun, as well as the best places to aim, to slow down, take down, or even kill. He told me if I ever had to pick up a gun to shoot another human being that it would be for self defense or defense of another so I needed to know where and how to shoot to achieve whatever aim I needed to, and if I was shooting for food (hunting) I needed to know where to shoot so the animal didn’t suffer any more than needed to provide us food.

He taught us to hunt rabbits, squirrels and quail and how to clean them and prepare them to cook. We never killed what we didn’t plan to eat. That was a rule,and I still believe that. He was a very firm believer in being kind to animals and the earth, and that everyone and everything was connected.

He taught me to bait a hook and how to fish. He taught me to be patient, not to rock the boat and scare away the fish, and to watch the changes in the ripples of the water and the behavior of the birds to tell me where to fish for the best results. And, of course, how to clean the fish. Because if you caught it, you cleaned it. Just like in the hunting – if you killed it, you dressed it for cooking.

We also had to learn to pitch a tent, build a fire, make sure the fire was completely out when you were done, change your own oil, and a thousand other things… He wanted me to be a strong woman, self sufficient and a positive force in the world.  He wanted me to be proud of who I was and have a strong set of personal values and live by them.  And I hope I’ve made him proud.

In many ways he was a simple man, but also a big kid at heart. I remember several Christmases when I was little hearing Santa and the reindeer up stomping around on our roof and hearing the jingle bells. Of course when I got older I realized that was Jim up there making us think Santa had come.

He also taught me to have a love and reverence for reading. He introduced me to Piers Anthony by giving me On a Pale Horse – the first book in the Incarnations of Immortality series and I was hooked on paranormal forever! Which is probably why I write it. He wasn’t a big fan of romance, but he probably would’ve enjoyed my Cassie Ryan books. He viewed sex as a fun, natural and very necessary part of being human. And knowing his little Sis wrote “smut” for a living would’ve amused the hell out of him.  Although he would’ve enjoyed the Tina Gerow books too.  Still steamy but not quite the kink factor of Cassie Ryan! 🙂

I didn’t start writing until 2003, and Jim died in 2001, but I know he would’ve been proud of me to have books published. And he would’ve read them and enjoyed them. And the Cassie Ryan heat level wouldn’t have made him bat an eyelash. I’m pretty sure that Jim has thought about and done “much kinkier shit” than Cassie Ryan could ever write!  🙂 Snerk!

When I published my first book, Into a Dangerous Mind, I dedicated it to Jim. And because when he asked me to give my son the last name “Hatcher” to carry on the family line, and I couldn’t, I named my first hero Zack Hatcher. I know it’s not the same as naming my son Hatcher, but in some small way, I have a Hatcher out there who will endure, or at least I hope he will 🙂 I know there are still Hatchers out there – probably a ton of us…but carrying on the family name was important to him, which is why he asked me if I could have Darian named Hatcher.

But of course my husband at the time didn’t appreciate that idea, so Darian was a Keller until just after his 18th birthday when he changed his name to Gerow. And in a very Jim-like manner, when the judge at the name change hearing asked him if he had any minor children, Darian said, “Not that I know of…”

Yes, Jon and I both FACE PALMED simultaneously at that one, but then we did chuckle. The judge wasn’t entertained, but was nice about chiding him. But I could VERY much see Jim coming out in my son at that moment!

Jim left behind one son, three sisters, and two daughters. He never got to meet his five grandchildren, or his son, but he would’ve loved them all.

Five little girls for grandchildren… He would’ve loved to have some boys in there too, but would’ve encouraged the girls to do anything they wanted – which is why my sister and I turned out to be tomboys. You’ll never see “shoe porn” on my Facebook page or blog, and most likely not on my feet either. I love my tennis shoes and jeans!

Jim gave me a lot of shit for my poofy white wedding dress and fancy high heels that I wore for my first wedding. Mostly because he liked giving me shit when the opportunity arose – AND the fact that it made me a few inches taller than my future (now ex)  husband 🙂  That tickled the hell out of him!

And the smartass even used the childhood nickname he gave me when he did the “Her mother and I do”…and then said just loud enough for the pastor and my future husband and I to hear…”We approve of Tuna Salad and ‘whats his name’ getting hitched.”

He called me “Tuna-Salad” or “Salaaaad” for short, ever since I can remember… But I guess that was better than my sister Amy’s nickname – Ameel–worm” Not sure how the heck he came up with that one, but it stuck…

He was definitely a jokester and liked to make everything sarcastic or outright funny, and sometimes downright dirty! It sometimes was corny, but often endearing. It could be embarrassing, especially when I was younger, but I would welcome it all back if he could still be here.

He would’ve railed at what our nation has become post 9-11, he had proudly served in the Army during Viet Nam, but yet he would also be celebrating his life and his family. He always lived life on his own terms as much as possible and was very “what you see is what you get.” You never had to wonder where you stood with Jim, and in fact, sometimes he had no filter at all – or at least chose not to use it.

Yes, smartasses – I hear you telling me that THAT is another Hatcher family trait.

Hey!!! I resemble that remark!!

Anyway…a few words on a blog can’t celebrate the fullness of my brother’s life, and I wish I had more time to dig out old pictures of him and us, but he is always full of life to those who loved him, and I know he’s watching over us and either smiling or smirking as the situation requires.

I’m sure he’s keeping the angels busy with his antics, and possibly even comes back for visits now and then. 🙂 I know there’s been several times in my life where I’ve felt him nearby, especially when a situation arises that I know would’ve made him hold his belly and laugh, or that would make him curse and shake his fist. 🙂

And for those of you familiar with my brain blowout, that long white hallway where I spent most of my time while I was under heavy sedation – he was there giving me shit.  While other relatives and friends were down there guiding me and laying their arms across my shoulders, Jim was teasing me that he’d always told me my brain would blow up one of these days if I didn’t stop holding things in and just let it “all hang out” once in a while! 🙂  I don’t think that was quite the brain blowout he had in mind, but he made light of it and made me laugh, which took some of the fear away, and I was grateful!

So, Jim, here’s to you! I raise a drink to you and tell you once again that I love you and miss you…  I don’t think we ever did get a chance to drink together while you were here, but we’ll make up for it when I get there!  Like I told you before – if we end up in hell – save me a seat over by the male strippers…I’ll meet you by the hillbilly moonshiners when I’m done!

Our family line carries on, maybe not in name, but the Hatcher genes are alive and well, and we’ve found another of us who we are welcoming into our fold in your stead. I can’t wait until you can meet and look into a face so similar to your own…

Until we meet again, Jim

I love you!!

Tina

 

Tina Gerow: New Year’s resolutions for smut writers…

Everyone I know has the more normal New Year’s resolutions – you know…lose weight, clean out their closet, exercise 4X a week…

Yeah – not my style. Not that those aren’t admirable resolutions to have, but they just aren’t on my list. And I would probably never keep them beyond January anyway.

 

So what IS on my list?

 

  1. Write daily! I already try to do this, but end up on a pretty normal week only writing on 5 days and those aren’t always productive ones.
  2. Read more! TONS of people have this on their lists, but as a writer, it’s pretty important. I often use reading as a  reward for reaching some word count goal in my current Work in Progress, and I can’t read in the genre I’m currently writing. I don’t want to start sounding like the author I’m reading. When I read, I get just as immersed in that world and those characters as when I write.  So often, I’ll read historical romances, comedy romances or even history or biographies.  But whatever I’m reading I NEED to read more in 2016!  I only read 13 books in 2015 (not counting the ones I critiqued for other writers) and that’s pretty pathetic for me.
  3. Do more real time research! I do a lot of my research online, or even chatting online with people to get the information I need. But for my current series, I really need to wrangle the Butterscotch Martini Girls and go to a BDSM dungeon/sex club.  Hubby told me in no uncertain terms when I was offered the contract with Random House Loveswept that he would NOT be the one to go with me…LOL! But I’ll bet at least a few of the girls would be game!
  4. Find a few more people who are active in the BDSM/fetish lifestyle to interview and get story ideas. Pretty self explanatory – more research from those who live that lifestyle will give me great writing material!!
  5. Step up my sex scenes.  Yes, I can see some of you cringing because a lot of my sex scenes are already pretty hot, but I don’t want them to get stagnant or predictable so I need to keep striving to write better/hotter ones that also bring the characters together and bring the characters closer emotionally.
  6. The BMG’s have been talking about getting Martini girl tattoos. I’m thinking about it. I have one existing tatt I need to get touched up, but I wouldn’t mind adding a small BMG one to the two I have. After all, I’m one of the founding members and it’s been a BIG part of my life for over a decade now. It would be a tattoo I would love forever, and I do still have a few places that won’t sag too much over the next 20 years!! No one wants a crinkly or suddenly 3 foot long martini glass….snerk!
  7. I also do have some normal resolutions…like not to beat myself up as much when I have a bad writing week or get behind on word count.
  8. To not compare myself to other authors’ writing output and feel bad about myself.
  9. To be thankful every day that I can STILL write – even if it takes me four times as long as it did pre brain blowout.
  10. The be more kind and compassionate
  11. To always work to be a better mother and wife
  12. To love myself more
  13. To be less judgmental about myself and others
  14. To be thankful for everything each and every day!
  15. To make sure everyone I love and care for knows how I feel!
  16. To find joy in every day!
  17. Do my gratitude exercises every day as soon as I get up!

If you were expecting more X-rated resolutions – just head on out to my Cassie Ryan page and pick up a book or two…and definitely my latest – My Obsession. That’ll give you the X-rated you’ve been looking for! 🙂

But if you’d like to go sensual instead of erotic – head on out to my Tina Gerow page.

What are some of YOUR resolutions that aren’t on everyone else’s list?

Happy New Year!

Tina

 

I’m off to raise a Butterscotch Martini to a new year!!!!
butterscotch martinis

Haunted House Time #wheredoyougo

DisneywitchlittleTHIS is the place the kids want to go to EVERY year here in Ohio.  Not all kids…the ones in my life. Me?

Not so much.

When I was young, going to a haunted house meant going to an abandoned, derelict hovel out in the country and scaring oneself until I peed my pants.  Or going to a graveyard in the middle of a cornfield in the dead of night.  One of my good friends drove a old Hurst  and we got it stuck in a graveyard across from our high school.  Embarrassing. ghostlittle

This year I gave most of my decorations to the kiddos to use as they wish.

It’s time to pass on the torch!

Sans fire!

Loving the Writer’s Life

There’s nothing like a fabulous vacation to get the creative juices flowing. As writers we’re always looking for an exotic location for our next book.  So when my dear friend, and Ellora’s Cave author, Lexi Post, invited Cathy McDavid and myself to visit with her and her husband, we were absolutely thrilled to accept the invitation. They live on the island of St. Croix in the Caribbean. And she asked us to bring our books. The local bookstore invited us to have a book signing while there.  

St. Croix is in the United States Virgin Islands so a passport wasn’t needed. This was perfect because I was worried I wouldn’t have enough time for one to be issued before we planned to leave.:

As soon as our plane landed we got a craving for a tropical island cocktail. The first one I ordered was a Pina Colada. Cathy ordered a Mango Daiquiri. Both were absolutely delicious. However, it wasn’t long before we switched to rum punch. It seemed to be the drink of choice for the island.

 

We spent the first morning relaxing on the porch enjoying the view. We worked on our current work in progress (cause that’s what writers do) until noon then took a drive to downtown Frederiksted.    

Frederiksted was named after Frederick V of Denmark, who purchased the Danish West Indies in 1754.

 

A cruise ship had docked and all the local shops had set up tents along the sidewalks. We had to check them out and buy a few souvenirs.

We were invited to brunch by Lexi’s friend, Tanisha.  Tanisha has lived in St Croix all her life and would not consider leaving her island paradise lifestyle. And who can blame her?

How’s this for a view?

Next we stopped by the Domino Club in the rainforest. We had to see the beer drinking pigs.  Do I look a little scared? Yep, kinda was.

The rainforest and this tree is absolutely huge.

We made history on the island of St. Croix. We were the first romance authors to ever hold a book signing on the island. Thank you so much. Undercover Bookstore, for giving us such a warm welcome.

Cathy McDavid, Lexi Post, Tia Dani

The following day we did a tour of the island. We walked where Columbus and his crew landed and came ashore. We drove over to Point Udall. Point Udall, St Croix, V.I. the Easternmost point of the United States of America. Named for Stewart Udall, United States Secretary of the Interior under Presidents John F. Kennedy and L.B. Johnson. Then on for drinks at a nearby resort. Rum punch on the patio.       http://www.gotostcroix.com/historic-sites

After a quick stop by the casino it was on to dinner in Christiansted.

There is plenty to do while on the island. if you plan to go check out the cultural events.http://www.gotostcroix.com/crucian-culture

For a great Chai stop in the local coffee house, Polly’s. https://www.facebook.com/pollysatthepier 

We decided we could not leave the island without taking a sunset cruise. The cruise definitely turned out to be one of the high points of the trip. We had so much fun. Our captain and his mate were quite handsome and the run punch flowed.

Great story about these two guys. They met on the island and turned out they were half brothers. Wasn’t long before they started up a business together.

The beautiful sunset

Tia Dani, Cathy and Lexi

All good things must come to an end including vacations. now it’s back to work finishing our book in progress while dreaming about where our next adventure will take us. Hawaii anyone?

BTW the next trip will include both Tia and Dani.  Who knows, maybe we’ll all go and make it a Butterscotch Martini Girls vacation? We can’t wait to find out.

Tia Dani

Time's Enduring Love

http://amzn.com/B00EVXABV0

 

What Happens In Laughlin Should Stay In Laughlin!

Gold one arm bandit isolated on blackHey there.  How y’all doin’ today?  Good, I hope!  Well, I had a blog topic all picked out and was doing research to get material for it and ran out of time.  I’ve got the material, but it’s gonna take too long to figure out how to put it all together and have it make sense and now it’s late and my brain is almost fried.  So what to do?  I thought about recycling an old blog and then I thought nah…that’s not fair.  So here I am, stuck again for a blog topic.  I know…big shocker!

So I’m taking my friend’s advice and blogging about our Laughlin trip last weekend.  If you’ve never been to Laughlin, you owe yourself a trip because it’s a fabulous people-watching spot.  And if you are a lucky soul, you could win a bundle.  I don’t typically tend to be lucky, so I set a limit on how much I can lose in a day and I try to stay with it.  This trip, I did pretty good.  I lost my limit on Friday night.  Then on Saturday I lost $30 more than my limit.  But on Sunday I won back the $30 and another $25 to boot.  So I actually considered this trip a big WIN.  LOL  However, there is a sad tale to tell…I came home with a $10 machine voucher…which means I left $10 in Laughlin because I forgot to take the ticket to the cashier.  ARGH!  Stupid Girl was at work that day!

Senior On HolidayAnyway, I still had a great time.  And, like I said, the people-watching is fabulous there.  But one thing absolutely dumbfounds me.  Why do those old women let those old men go out in public dressed like that?!  OMG, you see it all.  Plaid shorts with Hawaiian shirts, white socks with sandals, pants 4 inches too short, toupees that look like they came out of a Cracker Jack box, and never mind the old men in shorts with no underwear!  That image is going to take an ice pick to remove from my brain.

Then there is the hover-around.  And no, I’m not talking about a scooter.  I’m talking about the old man who is convinced his wife doesn’t know how to gamble so he has to watch her—close.  He stands behind her chair and leans over her…because she can’t hear his directions if he stands back too far.  So if you are unfortunate enough to be sitting next to his wife, his junk is about shoulder height just off your left side.  So you squirm to the right in your chair to ensure avoiding contact.  And as he stands there, he is scowling and telling her the right buttons to hit and why she made the wrong choice on that last hand.  And if he gets too agitated because she’s made too many bad choices, he starts to lean in further and you can’t tell if what’s brushing your left shoulder now is his junk or his belly…and either way, it’s not good news.  But you don’t dare look…because you don’t know whether it’s his junk or his belly!

Oh, and what is it with doling out the twenty dollar bills one at a time?  Can’t she be trusted with “their” money?  Why can’t she just have money in her purse that she can carry with her wherever she goes and spend it or gamble it however she wants?  How come he gets to be boss of the money AND the machine?  And when she runs out of money, why doesn’t he just insist she quit?  After all, it’s clear he’s not having a good time because he’s been scowling and lecturing her for an hour.  But instead of making her leave the machine double jokeror (heaven forbid) just walking away, he reaches across and feeds another twenty dollar bill into her machine.  HUH?  Okay, I’m no genius, but even I know he’s getting something out of this or he wouldn’t keep feeding the monster.  So what is it?  The satisfaction of being able to rub her nose in her losses?  The feeling of freedom you get from a lighter wallet?  No…my theory is that he’s getting even with her…getting even because she let him walk out of the hotel room that morning wearing those stupid green plaid shorts with that horrid purple Hawaiian shirt (with some kind of food stain on the front), and no underwear!

Well, that’s my Laughlin story, bonkers and ballsy, and I’m stickin’ to it.  Hold on tight now ‘cuz we’re gonna go real, real fast!

Lori_smallestLove ya,

Kayce

On the eve of my 11 year wedding anniversary I remember #5

2003

2003

 

My eleven year wedding anniversary is tomorrow, so as I was racking my brain to figure out what to blog about today, I found an old blog I had written back on my 5 year anniversary about how Jon & I got started.

It definitely brought some smiles to my face so I thought I would share…

Along with a quick update at the very end LOL!

But here it is, from way back in 2008 – my blog about my Fifth Wedding Anniversary:

My five year wedding anniversary is tomorrow, March 22nd. Looking back, I’m amazed that we’ve been married for five years, and known each other for almost seven. Although, our running joke with each other is, “Is that all? It felt like muuuuch longer!” LOL. Yes, we do have a touch of warped humor in our household.

As we were heading off to bed last night, I started thinking about how different my life was before Jon was in it.

When we met, I was living in a two bedroom townhouse with my son, still working full time in Corporate America, and had dated my share of total and complete losers.

Let’s see, there was the business card boy, the immature ex-boyfriend and the guy who knocked up his lesbian ex-wife while we were dating just to name the top three contenders for the loser crown. After my frustration died down from contestant number three—who is probably the ultimate crown winner here—I remembered this good looking, sweet, funny, semi-shy guy I had met at a local bar during karaoke. He liked to sing Elvis songs, and we could talk for hours about anything and everything.

I called him up and asked him out, which sounded something like this:

“Jon?”

“Hey, Tina. How’s it going?”

I’ve always loved his deep gravelly voice, so I’m purely appreciative just listening at this point 🙂 “Great. I was actually calling to see if you were busy tonight.”

“Not really. Paul (his roommate) and I are just hanging out.”

“Do you want to go to dinner or something?” (Yes, I usually just kept it this simple when I asked someone out. Not profound, but it got to the point…lol.)

Silence for about four full heartbeats. Then, “You mean on a date?”

Okay, deep breath. It’s not easy for anyone to take the risk and ask someone out, but this isn’t a good sign so far. “Yes, unless you would prefer we just keep it a friendly dinner. Are you interested?”

“No, as a date is good,” he answers quickly enough to salve my ego. “I just wanted to clarify.”

Anyway, once we hung up the phone, he apparently looked at his roommate and said, “This means I need to shave, doesn’t it?” LOL.

He picked me up that night in his 1955 Plymouth Belvedere painted primer gray, with no heat (it was freezing out…LOL), bearing one of those little roses they sell at Circle K. Yes, a bit corny, but sweet, and I still have that thing!

We went to a local Chili’s restaurant with questionable food and we talked and laughed easily. So far the date was going great! I was sitting across from a really cute guy with deep hazel eyes with gold flecks, a killer smile with just a hint of dimple, dark hair that made you want to run your fingers through it, a great sense of humor and that wonderful deep voice. Things were looking up! Finally, maybe I had gotten off the “dating losers” train and was on the right track. Woo Hoo!

Right after they brought the appetizer, I noticed they were playing Up Where We Belong on the overhead speakers. I remember laughing and saying, “I remember when this song was really popular. It was the theme song for my Senior Prom.”

A short pause while Jon listens too, and then he smiles, which turns him from cute to totally hot and yummy. “I remember this song! A group of us did a lip syncing act to it for our fifth grade talent show.”

WHAT?????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Thankfully, I was struck dumb at this point and it took several seconds for me to even form words as my brain processed all the ramifications of those statements. Once it did, I said, “How old are you?”

“Twenty-three.”

As I did quick mental calculations to figure out our nine year age difference, my first reaction was, Hell, no! What am I even thinking? A thirty-two-year-old divorced woman with a kid dating a twenty-three year old guy? ACK!

Of course, due to several years of muddling through social situations while my mind is screaming such things, I was able to continue holding a conversation, although I’m sure he didn’t miss my shock.

But over the course of the next hour, my reservations lessened and then disappeared. I was reminded of the line from the movie The American President where Annette Bening is talking to her sister about why she can’t date Michael Douglas, who is the President of the United States, and she says, “Yeah… I gotta nip this in the bud. This has catastrophe written all over it.” To which her sister replies, “In what language? Sydney, the man is the leader of the free world. He’s brilliant, funny, handsome. He’s an above-average dancer. Isn’t it possible our standards are just a tad high?”

I knew exactly what they meant! After all, here was a very attractive man I could talk to for hours, we could make each other laugh, he didn’t have four ex wives with twenty kids, and no lesbian ex-wife lurking in the wings like the last one, he didn’t do drugs and only drank socially. He had a job, seemed fairly responsible, was articulate and seemed to enjoy my company. So, somewhere in that hour, I just went with it, and now, nearly seven years later, I’m very glad I did!

Like every couple, we’ve had some doozey fights which we still laugh about today, and some ups and downs, but we have a good solid relationship and we really do complement each other well. He was even the one who encouraged me to take my dream of writing out of the closet and finally go do it. Even more than that, he and my son get along very well, and much to my chagrin sometimes—they even have very similar senses of humor. ACK!

One of these days, I might even get an actual marriage proposal. In fact, I’m not sure how I ended up at my fifth wedding anniversary without one, but I did. But…that’s an entirely different blog. 🙂

Tina/Cassie

UPDATE FOR 2014:

Just for the record – I DID finally get that proposal a few years ago, in 2012, when we headed back to the altar for a rededication of sorts 🙂

He even brought flowers, got down on one knee and expressed his love and actually popped the question. And with tears in my eyes, I gladly accepted…this time officially! It’s been a roller coaster ride, but Jon & I are still going strong and plan on seeing this thing through to the very end! Or as I jokingly tell him all the time, “You’re stuck with me!” To which he always smiles and says, “Don’t threaten me!”

Tee hee!

Yes, we both have a very odd sense of humor in our relationship, but I think that’s one of the things that has kept us together through the hard times and will keep us together going forward.

So on this happy day for both of us, we wish you all well, and wish you all the same happiness and a wonderful family like we’ve found and forged together!

Tina/Cassie

Please Say YES!!!

Okay, I was cruising the internet this morning trying to find something to blog about…because I’m a slacker and blog day is here and I got nuthin’!  So I started out looking for funny typos or grammatical errors and then got sidetracked with bad marriage proposals.  OMG!  Did you know there are dozens of bad video and pictures of marriage proposals gone bad?  How embarrassing!  Imagine the poor schmuck who has found the love of his life (or thinks he has), only to be publicly humiliated when he goes down on one knee to propose.  And what I have found is that there are as many creative ways to turn a man down as there are ways to propose.  Well, before I get to far into it, let me just give you some of my runner-up favorites for bad ways to propose.

a98074_bad-proposal_4-graffiti[1]First, there’s the guy who uses a can of spray paint to tag a fence…probably his girlfriend’s parents’ fence.  Won’t daddy be proud of HIS little girl’s choice?!  I think not.  This guy thought he was being creative………uh, not so much.  Run, girlie!  This guy’s gonna do 3 years for defacing expensive public property, and then he’s gonna graduate to torturing kitties and ultimately go to the big house for murdering his wife in her sleep…you DO NOT want to be her…JUST SAY NO!

a98074_bad-proposal_6-merry-me2[1]Then there’s this one.  I can’t decide if the guy’s trying to be cute or is just a bad speller who doesn’t own a dictionary or Google or have a friend who can spell.  Perhaps there should be a rule that men have to have direct supervision when planning a proposal that’s more than just kneeling at the dinner table with a ring box in his hand.

a98074_bad-proposal_5-upside-down[1]This girl gets props for trying.  She obviously has figured out that the sports event lovecam is the way to get her man’s attention.  But honey, you gotta hold the sign right side up……..you can’t give them too many outs.  I can see this ending up in divorce court.  “But, Your Honor, I didn’t know she was asking me to marry her.  The sign was upside down.  I thought it said, “Would you like a bratwurst?”

a98074_bad-proposal_7-fast-food[1]

 

This one I love because of it’s simplicity.  This man obviously knows Shineka’s weakness and he’s not above exploiting it.  I hope she said yes because I’d love to know that this one worked!  LOL

 

 

a98074_bad-proposal_3-dishes-fb[1]Okay, this one could be at the top of the heap for bad ideas…Facebook, Really?  But the details behind this, when you really dig a little deeper, show that this guy is really one lucky bastard.  His girl was taken back at first, but then she was smart enough and creative enough to find a way to make lemons out of lemonade.  She says yes, but with the caveat that he’s got nuthin’ to say from this point forward about how much time she spends on the computer…after all, that’s how he got her.  Hmmm…I think this guy is up for a lifetime of being out-maneuvered.   Shoulda thought that one all the way through, dude!

a98074_bad-proposal_10-ginecologist[1]This next one is just really creepy to me and I’m not sure exactly why.  I just don’t think I want to be laying on an examining table shivering in a paper gown with ice-cold steel equipment shoved up my vijayjay and have some yahoo (no matter how much I love him) hold up a diamond ring and ask me to marry him!  WTF?  Really?  Good thing they make you take your shoes off or if it had been me, he might find a 4 inch spike heel up his left nostril.

a98074_bad-proposal_8-prank[1]I’m really torn over this next one.  I think it’s sorta cute that the guy went to all this trouble and I will give you the link to the video too so you can see it in live motion.  He seems really sweet and sincere and it’s kinda cute until you see the panic on the girlfriend’s face.  He scared the living bejeebies outta her and if I’m her, I’m not sure he’s gonna live past today.  That better be one big-ass ring!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=hya9xxn7CA0

 

a98074_bad-proposal_11-pee[1]And this one just boggles my mind because…well, because.  I almost have no words for this one.  I don’t know how any man in his right mind could think this is a good idea.  The guy proposes by peeing the message in the snow.  Not cute, not pretty, not classy…and yet, she probably said yes.  I guess love truly is blind!

Unfortunately, this last one is kinda sad.  But if you are as twisted as I am, you will laugh…I guarantee it.  There is that split moment when the girl’s reaction just makes you guffaw, right before your heart plunges in sorrow for the poor young man.  But I’m sure it served to make him a stronger man, perhaps a better chooser of women in the future, and he’ll choose a quiet and private place next time (not the Dubai mall)…without the musicians.  LOL   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVIPaTn74Fc 

I hope you enjoyed this little stroll through marriage proposal land.  Guys, there are some lessons to be learned here about what to do and what not to do.  Girls, I think there is something to be learned from the way a man proposes…and it might be your very last chance to make the right choice!

That’s my story, holy-cow hinky and you-gotta-be-kidding weird, and I’m stickin’ to it.  Hold on tight now ‘cuz we’re gonna go real, real fast!

Love ya,

Kayce

(My thanks to Grace Murano at 12 Hilariously Bad Wedding Proposals http://www.oddee.com/item_98074.aspx for the pictures used in this blog.)