Tag Archives: good sex

The age old question:”Does size really matter & Is there such a thing as too much?” @tinagerow

We’ve all heard the old adage that size doesn’t really matter, but is that really true?  Let’s explore this thought a little…  And don’t get your panties in a twist.  This is a no nonsense, straight talk discussion of the topic, so if you are a fainter or easily offended you might want to close the page now.

Without sounding like a total slut I’ll admit I have dated a few men and married two of them, so I’ve seen a few naughty bits in my time.

My conclusion:  Does size really matter?  Well, sometimes, yes it does.  But not always.

I’ve also written several heroes, I think 16 to be exact, and not all of them were uber huge, but I have to admit that I did make them all amazing in bed.  Hey, it’s a romance novel!!  Readers don’t want to read about the guy who doesn’t know what the heck he’s doing!  They want to read about some amazing hot sex and a man who is willing to do his part!

So in both real life AND romance novels if the guy doesn’t have size going for him – at least enough so you know something is there and going on, he’s got to make up for it in other ways.  For example, if he’s a little low on the length/girth equation but he’s a great kisser, caresser and can get the job done in other ways – oral, touching etc – then that goes a long way.  A LOT of guys both in real life AND in books tend to skim on all of that stuff and just rely on size.  And honestly, sex is really about the journey.  If it was all about just the orgasm then everyone would only be masturbating and not even bothering to find a partner.  And if it was all about the length/girth then all of us women could just get Mr. Dong at the sex store and not even bother with the living/breathing men that is attached to Mr. Happy.

The kissing, touching, cuddling, intimacy parts of the equation are one of the best things!  Yes, even for you guys out there!  After all, sex is 80% in your brain.  More in mine since I only have 1/2 of my brain left!!  LOL…  But seriously, if you aren’t in the ambiance, mood, mindset for good sex, you might as well just be masturbating at home alone.  The brain and your thoughts are really what can make things erotic. So use that to your advantage.  That’s what setting the stage is about – not just trappings.  Setting the stage is what engages your brain and can bring a whole new level of erotic to sex!

And believe it or not, there really is such a thing as TOO much!!!!  If you feel like it’s up in your throat choking you, but you’re having vaginal intercourse – there might be a little too much length involved.  Especially if you’re a tall woman!!!!  Just saying!  And if there’s just too much girth to even fit, then I’d say that combination really isn’t a good fit.

So the holy grail for women is the guy who makes sure that you both enjoy things and who knows it’s about the journey for both of you and not just a scoreboard for either of your egos.  And guys – that’s the holy grail for you in a woman too!  Believe it or not there are women out there who love sex, love to give blow jobs and can more than keep up with you.  But you have to bring your half to the table.  Sex is an equal partnership – or it should be.

So for those guys out there who are worried they don’t have enough.  Ptttth….  Get in there and kiss, cuddle, touch, and yes, if you’re okay with it – being good at oral sex can help mitigate that as well!  Bring that package to the table and no matter what’s filling out your jockeys your woman will be moaning and begging for more!

And women – you have some responsibility too!  Don’t forget to take care of your man! He likes caresses too!  His nipples can be just as sensitive as ours.  And don’t underestimate the fun of finding out where his most sensitive and erogenous spots are.  Explore with lips and teeth and tongue and watch him go insane! 🙂

And of course, most guys really love receiving oral sex!  I’ve only ever met one who SAYS he doesn’t like it, but I think he just hasn’t had good oral sex yet…  And ladies – it’s a little off topic but let’s talk swallowing….  If it’s already in your mouth, what’s the big deal?????  I mean, really?????  What’s a little extra protein between friends – unless it’s that “funky spunk” going on.  (Sorry for the Sex In the City reference, but if you don’t get that one, just ask)  Just me?

That’s my thoughts for the day!  Off to get my kink on – aka, write!