Happy Holidays from the BMGs

From the Butterscotch Martini Girls to you this holiday season!

Happy Holidays! (video 1)

Happy Holidays! (video 2)

 

How long is 8 inches…really?

Okay, I’ve posted today’s blog over at the Kayce Lassiter website, so you will need to click the link below to go there and read it.  But it’s a short trip, lovely scenery, and I think you will enjoy the destination.  My story today has to do with a conversation overheard in a sandwich shop when they were trying to make me an 8-inch sandwich.  We all know how difficult it is to measure out 8 inches, don’t we?  LOL

And while you’re there, be sure you look around and check out the last few blogs I’ve posted.  I’m trying a new thing…actually posting a blog to my own blog site.  LOL  One of those new-fangled concepts.  Anyway, take a look around while you are there and then come back here and take a stroll through some of the recent blogs here at the BMG site.  Lots of clever authors here and lots of terrific books…maybe you will find a new author you are dying to try.

Enjoy!

Go to blog:

Midnight on the Double-B by Kayce Lassiter

Midnight on the Double-B

Kylah McCombs finds her life turned completely upside down when her overwhelmingly handsome neighbor manages to get control of the water rights to her ranch. Michael Beasty has no intention of cutting off the water supply to the McCombs ranch, but he can’t tell Kylah until he figures out how to resolve the issues that threaten his own ranch. So when Kylah’s redneck fairy god mother shows up on a Harley to save the day, she convinces Michael to hire Kylah as his housekeeper and give her a way to buy back her water rights. Michael needs a housekeeper desperately, but isn’t sure he can hold out against the snarky flaxen haired beauty that has moved into his house and his heart.

Will Kylah and Michael find a way to save both ranches?
Will they destroy each other in the meantime?
Who is the strange woman on the motorcycle that has shown up in their darkest hour with the mangiest dog on the planet?
What does she want and why won’t she go away?

Buy it now!

5.0 out of 5 stars Write More Books, Kayce !!!, November 3, 2013

By CA – See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase(What’s this?)

This review is from: Midnight on the Double-B (Paperback)

Second book I’ve read by this author. Couldn’t put the book down once I started. She makes you feel as though you are right there.

Buy it now!

Woo Hoo…books and martinis this weekend!!!

Hi y’all…how’s everyone doing this good Friday morning?  Hope everyone is wonderful, fabulous, and outrageous and that you all have a big, fun weekend planned!  What am I doing?  Ooooohhh, so glad you asked!

Link to Expo Website for more details:  http://azwomensexpo.com/home

This is what I’m doing…I’m signing my books at the Arizona’s Ultimate Women’s EXPO, which is being held at the Phoenix Convention Center in downtown Phoenix this Saturday and Sunday.  They have some fabulous products and services that will be on display, in addition to an all-star cast of keynote speakers.

So run….don’t walk…ride a bike, ride a bus, ride a donkey…but get there!

Shhhhh….it’s a secret…rumor has it there will be a MARTINI BOOTH!  Now, that’s something I can really get behind!!!

And…if that’s not enough…I will be signing there right alongside our very own H.D.Thomson and 5 other fabulous authors:  Lizzie Bella, Carolyn Hughey/K.T.Roberts, Taylor Michaels, Arabella Thorne, and Tami Vinson.

So pack the kiddies off to the babysitter, grab your car keys (or your donkey bridle), and come join us for some super fun.  Now where is that map…I have to know the exact location of that martini booth!

That’s my story, fun and fabulous, and I’m stickin’ to it!  So hang on real tight now, ‘cuz we’re gonna go real, real fast!

Love ya,

Kayce 

Loons of a Feather (A Delta Jane Novel) by Kayce Lassiter

Loons of a Feather (A Delta Jane Novel)

There are two kinds of matches in life—the kind humans make on their own, which succeed or fail depending on how much work they put into the relationship, and the “made in Heaven” kind that are especially blessed to last a lifetime. Matches made in Heaven are the fulfillment of a special blessing the creator has bestowed on a family line because of some great service or noble deed performed by an ancestor. These matches are heralded by the appearance of a glimmer, the spirit of an unborn child, to the mother’s godparent. The glimmers come to the godparent in the form of an aura attached to the collar of a dog that’s destined to remain with the family to look after the child. It’s the godparent’s responsibility to ensure the match is made before the glimmer fades and dies, taking with it the promise of true love and happily-ever-after.
Fairy Godmother, Delta Jane, is tasked with making a heaven-sent match for Shannon Burnett before the spirit of the child she is destined to have fades out of existence. Shannon, however, has a serious dilemma. She is attracted to two men—Michael Tanner who seems to be “another undependable cowboy”, and her high school boyfriend Jackson Miller who seems anxious to pick up where they left off twelve years before. It’s going to take all the resources and creativity Delta can muster to help Shannon grow beyond her past hurts to see these men for who they really are and make the right choice.

Will Shannon resolve her anger with her cowboy father? Is rancher Michael Tanner cut from the same cloth? Is Jackson Miller a better choice?
Who will Shannon choose? Will Delta Jane make the match before the glimmer is gone forever?

Buy it now!

5.0 out of 5 stars Three Cheers for Kayce Lassiter, February 6, 2014

By D M Warner (PHOENIX, AZ, US) – See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase(What’s this?)

This review is from: Loons of a Feather (A Delta Jane Novel) (Volume 1) (Paperback)

Hold on to your hats (or rather your helmets)! Kayce Lassiter has done something no one else has done…..in her book, Loons of a Feather, she has gifted us with Delta Jane, the hippest, most color-coordinated, craziest fairy godmother the world has ever known. And thank goodness! Delta Jane’s job is to bring people together so they can fall in love, if she can keep her brother, fairy godfather in training Bubba, from casting his own spells, which never seem to turn out right. In Loons of a Feather, which I loved (and you will, too), it’s Delta Jane’s job to bring together Shannon and Michael, two people who are obviously made for each other despite the various ups and downs of previous relationships and the fear of giving one’s heart once more. Loons of a Feather was a joy to read…I only wish I had a Delta Jane in my life. And I look forward to reading more stories about Ms. Lassiter’s feisty, spunky motorcycle-riding fairy godmother! Rev your engines and come join the fun!

Buy it now!

Book Signing in Tempe Tonight!

Okay, I’m going to keep this short and sweet.  Some of the BMG’s are at the Desert Dreams Conference in Tempe this weekend and tonight the conference is hosting a book signing that is open to the public.  So bring your mother, sister, daughter, niece, or nephew and pick up a few books from your favorite authors.  Here’s the list of authors who will be signing tonight…

So load up granny and come on down to Tempe for the evening.  You pick up a carload of books and then stroll down Mill Avenue and find a great place to eat like Fatburger or Fuzzy’s Taco Shop.  And the weather’s perfect right now for dinner out on the patio at Rula Bula Irish Pub and Restaurant.

We’ll see you there!  That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.  Hang on tight now, ‘cuz we’re gonna go real, real fast!

Love ya,

Kayce

What Happens In Laughlin Should Stay In Laughlin!

Hey there.  How y’all doin’ today?  Good, I hope!  Well, I had a blog topic all picked out and was doing research to get material for it and ran out of time.  I’ve got the material, but it’s gonna take too long to figure out how to put it all together and have it make sense and now it’s late and my brain is almost fried.  So what to do?  I thought about recycling an old blog and then I thought nah…that’s not fair.  So here I am, stuck again for a blog topic.  I know…big shocker!

So I’m taking my friend’s advice and blogging about our Laughlin trip last weekend.  If you’ve never been to Laughlin, you owe yourself a trip because it’s a fabulous people-watching spot.  And if you are a lucky soul, you could win a bundle.  I don’t typically tend to be lucky, so I set a limit on how much I can lose in a day and I try to stay with it.  This trip, I did pretty good.  I lost my limit on Friday night.  Then on Saturday I lost $30 more than my limit.  But on Sunday I won back the $30 and another $25 to boot.  So I actually considered this trip a big WIN.  LOL  However, there is a sad tale to tell…I came home with a $10 machine voucher…which means I left $10 in Laughlin because I forgot to take the ticket to the cashier.  ARGH!  Stupid Girl was at work that day!

Anyway, I still had a great time.  And, like I said, the people-watching is fabulous there.  But one thing absolutely dumbfounds me.  Why do those old women let those old men go out in public dressed like that?!  OMG, you see it all.  Plaid shorts with Hawaiian shirts, white socks with sandals, pants 4 inches too short, toupees that look like they came out of a Cracker Jack box, and never mind the old men in shorts with no underwear!  That image is going to take an ice pick to remove from my brain.

Then there is the hover-around.  And no, I’m not talking about a scooter.  I’m talking about the old man who is convinced his wife doesn’t know how to gamble so he has to watch her—close.  He stands behind her chair and leans over her…because she can’t hear his directions if he stands back too far.  So if you are unfortunate enough to be sitting next to his wife, his junk is about shoulder height just off your left side.  So you squirm to the right in your chair to ensure avoiding contact.  And as he stands there, he is scowling and telling her the right buttons to hit and why she made the wrong choice on that last hand.  And if he gets too agitated because she’s made too many bad choices, he starts to lean in further and you can’t tell if what’s brushing your left shoulder now is his junk or his belly…and either way, it’s not good news.  But you don’t dare look…because you don’t know whether it’s his junk or his belly!

Oh, and what is it with doling out the twenty dollar bills one at a time?  Can’t she be trusted with “their” money?  Why can’t she just have money in her purse that she can carry with her wherever she goes and spend it or gamble it however she wants?  How come he gets to be boss of the money AND the machine?  And when she runs out of money, why doesn’t he just insist she quit?  After all, it’s clear he’s not having a good time because he’s been scowling and lecturing her for an hour.  But instead of making her leave the machine or (heaven forbid) just walking away, he reaches across and feeds another twenty dollar bill into her machine.  HUH?  Okay, I’m no genius, but even I know he’s getting something out of this or he wouldn’t keep feeding the monster.  So what is it?  The satisfaction of being able to rub her nose in her losses?  The feeling of freedom you get from a lighter wallet?  No…my theory is that he’s getting even with her…getting even because she let him walk out of the hotel room that morning wearing those stupid green plaid shorts with that horrid purple Hawaiian shirt (with some kind of food stain on the front), and no underwear!

Well, that’s my Laughlin story, bonkers and ballsy, and I’m stickin’ to it.  Hold on tight now ‘cuz we’re gonna go real, real fast!

Love ya,

Kayce

Please Say YES!!!

Okay, I was cruising the internet this morning trying to find something to blog about…because I’m a slacker and blog day is here and I got nuthin’!  So I started out looking for funny typos or grammatical errors and then got sidetracked with bad marriage proposals.  OMG!  Did you know there are dozens of bad video and pictures of marriage proposals gone bad?  How embarrassing!  Imagine the poor schmuck who has found the love of his life (or thinks he has), only to be publicly humiliated when he goes down on one knee to propose.  And what I have found is that there are as many creative ways to turn a man down as there are ways to propose.  Well, before I get to far into it, let me just give you some of my runner-up favorites for bad ways to propose.

First, there’s the guy who uses a can of spray paint to tag a fence…probably his girlfriend’s parents’ fence.  Won’t daddy be proud of HIS little girl’s choice?!  I think not.  This guy thought he was being creative………uh, not so much.  Run, girlie!  This guy’s gonna do 3 years for defacing expensive public property, and then he’s gonna graduate to torturing kitties and ultimately go to the big house for murdering his wife in her sleep…you DO NOT want to be her…JUST SAY NO!

Then there’s this one.  I can’t decide if the guy’s trying to be cute or is just a bad speller who doesn’t own a dictionary or Google or have a friend who can spell.  Perhaps there should be a rule that men have to have direct supervision when planning a proposal that’s more than just kneeling at the dinner table with a ring box in his hand.

This girl gets props for trying.  She obviously has figured out that the sports event lovecam is the way to get her man’s attention.  But honey, you gotta hold the sign right side up……..you can’t give them too many outs.  I can see this ending up in divorce court.  “But, Your Honor, I didn’t know she was asking me to marry her.  The sign was upside down.  I thought it said, “Would you like a bratwurst?”

 

This one I love because of it’s simplicity.  This man obviously knows Shineka’s weakness and he’s not above exploiting it.  I hope she said yes because I’d love to know that this one worked!  LOL

 

 

Okay, this one could be at the top of the heap for bad ideas…Facebook, Really?  But the details behind this, when you really dig a little deeper, show that this guy is really one lucky bastard.  His girl was taken back at first, but then she was smart enough and creative enough to find a way to make lemons out of lemonade.  She says yes, but with the caveat that he’s got nuthin’ to say from this point forward about how much time she spends on the computer…after all, that’s how he got her.  Hmmm…I think this guy is up for a lifetime of being out-maneuvered.   Shoulda thought that one all the way through, dude!

This next one is just really creepy to me and I’m not sure exactly why.  I just don’t think I want to be laying on an examining table shivering in a paper gown with ice-cold steel equipment shoved up my vijayjay and have some yahoo (no matter how much I love him) hold up a diamond ring and ask me to marry him!  WTF?  Really?  Good thing they make you take your shoes off or if it had been me, he might find a 4 inch spike heel up his left nostril.

I’m really torn over this next one.  I think it’s sorta cute that the guy went to all this trouble and I will give you the link to the video too so you can see it in live motion.  He seems really sweet and sincere and it’s kinda cute until you see the panic on the girlfriend’s face.  He scared the living bejeebies outta her and if I’m her, I’m not sure he’s gonna live past today.  That better be one big-ass ring!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=hya9xxn7CA0

 

And this one just boggles my mind because…well, because.  I almost have no words for this one.  I don’t know how any man in his right mind could think this is a good idea.  The guy proposes by peeing the message in the snow.  Not cute, not pretty, not classy…and yet, she probably said yes.  I guess love truly is blind!

Unfortunately, this last one is kinda sad.  But if you are as twisted as I am, you will laugh…I guarantee it.  There is that split moment when the girl’s reaction just makes you guffaw, right before your heart plunges in sorrow for the poor young man.  But I’m sure it served to make him a stronger man, perhaps a better chooser of women in the future, and he’ll choose a quiet and private place next time (not the Dubai mall)…without the musicians.  LOL   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVIPaTn74Fc 

I hope you enjoyed this little stroll through marriage proposal land.  Guys, there are some lessons to be learned here about what to do and what not to do.  Girls, I think there is something to be learned from the way a man proposes…and it might be your very last chance to make the right choice!

That’s my story, holy-cow hinky and you-gotta-be-kidding weird, and I’m stickin’ to it.  Hold on tight now ‘cuz we’re gonna go real, real fast!

Love ya,

Kayce

(My thanks to Grace Murano at 12 Hilariously Bad Wedding Proposals http://www.oddee.com/item_98074.aspx for the pictures used in this blog.)

Katie’s Rock by Kayce Lassiter

Katie’s Rock

Katie Schaffer is a single mother who slings drinks for a living. Her parents are gone, leaving her alone to care for her four year old son and a cocker spaniel with more energy than brains. When she meets Arizona ranchers Jake and David McAllister, the two handsome brothers both go into a full-court-press to win Katie’s affections. She quickly chooses Jake, but soon finds the road to love is a whole lot rockier than she expected. Jake is still raw from his divorce and is struggling with the pain of having his family torn apart. If she loses Jake, Katie stands to lose the entire McAllister family. Not only has she come to love them very much, but this would be the second family Katie has lost. Will Jake commit to Katie? Did Katie choose the wrong McAllister brother? If she loses Jake, can Katie survive losing her second family in three years?

Buy it now!

Diamonds or Backhoe?

That’s the ever-elusive question that no one has ever been able to answer definitively…would you rather have a good backhoe or diamonds?  What?  You’re rolling your eyes?  Really?  You say, “DUH!”  Really?  Oh yeah, I get cha…there’s no contest, right?  The backhoe trumps diamonds every time.   What?  You’re shaking your head now and waving frantically.  Oh…I get it…you don’t have anywhere to park your backhoe.  What?  Oh yeah, I forgot about your homeowners association.  Yeah, maybe you should settle for diamonds…since you aren’t really equipped for big girls’ toys.

What?  No, Kayce has not lost her mind.  And yes, she means every stinking word of it.  Okay, before you call out the guys in the little white jackets, let me just clarify for you what has brought me to this conclusion.  Now, remember, I’m a country girl…conceived and raised on a farm.  So my value system might be a little different from yours.  No, I’m not crazy…I’m practical.  So…here’s the deal…I live on a farm and have horses and with that comes things like moving hay, moving manure, filling in holes the horses dug (yes, horses dig…at least, mine do!), hauling fence parts from one side of the farm to the other, digging post holes, and yes, even burying precious family pets once they have moved on to the afterlife.

Suffice it to say there’s a lot of digging that goes on around a farm and I pretty much thought I was the only girl in the world with this problem.  The issue of digging holes, moving manure, planting pastures mostly belongs to the world of Men and isn’t generally a Girlie activity.  However, there are those women who, like me, got tired of waiting for Mr. Right to come along and rescue them.  So they went out and got their own piece of property with their own animals and built the life they’ve always dreamed of having on their own.  So now we’ve got holes to dig…sometimes very BIG holes.

So what to do?  Can’t dig a hole with a diamond ring.  Oh, maybe if you’re McGuyver you can figure out how to do it, but I never saw a plow attachment or a post hole digger attachment for a diamond.  And I have discovered I’m not the only woman in the world with this problem!  I recently reconnected with a girlfriend from high school and we discovered that we both have traveled very different but similar paths in life.  So I am spending a few days with her at her place up north…a wonderful, gorgeous place that she is working hard to turn into a B&B one day in the near future.  And lo and behold, the girl has a backhoe.  A real, live backhoe!

At first, I was jealous.  Why don’t I have a backhoe?  I could use one to dig all those holes and move all that crap.  So why don’t I have one?  Well, because I never freaking thought of getting one, that’s why.  Like I said, the backhoe has always been a tool (some say toy) that was relegated to the world of Men.  But then along comes this girl with some fresh, out-of-the-box thinking and voile, my mind has been expanded, blown, transformed…and I now have a new goal—a backhoe!  Or, more accurately, maybe a tractor.

So what does a woman building a B&B do with a backhoe?  Well, lots!  She tears down trees, digs up roots, drags the reeds out of the pond, builds rock retaining walls, and carts materials.  Bottom line…she can do any damn thing she pleases with a backhoe…or if she’s more inclined to sit on the dock and drink a margarita that particular gorgeous, sunny afternoon, she can hire a man to drive her backhoe and move stuff or dig holes.  And did you know men are willing to work cheaper if they think they get to play with cool toys like backhoes?  Uh-huh!

You convinced yet?  Ready to buy a backhoe?  Yep, I knew you would be…it was the part about hiring the man to drive it, wasn’t it?   LOL  So…now to find a way to pay for that backhoe or tractor…guess I need to sell a lot more books, huh?  ‘Cuz we all know backhoes and tractors ain’t cheap.  Oh wait…I think I just found a great use for diamonds…you can sell ‘em to get the money to buy a backhoe.

Okay, I’m off now to see if I can find some diamonds laying around the house that I can hock to get my tractor.  And if you’re interested in knowing where my friend’s B&B is going to be located, stay tuned here to the BMG blog because I will one day be posting an announcement of a grand opening and you wouldn’t want to miss it…she might even let you sit on her backhoe!

That’s my story, steely and sparkly, and I’m stickin’ to it.  Hang on tight now ‘cuz we’re gonna go real, real fast!

Love ya,

Kayce